Hello all.
My name is Chris, I'm a compulsive gambler. New to the forum but not to the addiction or recovery. I'm a long time GA member, clean from Nov 2017.
Too long a story for now but I'm here to help and all advice is based on my own experience.
Experience of all types of gambling including fruit machines, bookies, horses, dogs, sports, poker, online, slots, fobts, casinos and services.Â
If I can do it, anyone can.
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Hi Chris,Â
I am a partner of a gambler who has currently left me. He came clean at Christmas and hasn’t gambled since, he has given me all his bank details and email passwords etc so he cannot gamble.Â
At the minute a lot of the problem is the guilt of what he has done financially and what he feels he has put me through, he filled out the application online to get help from GamCare however is now struggling to phone back and reach out for help. I want to help him but understand I cannot push him, is there a realisation moment that you realise you do actually need help and what maybe was this for you?Â
Hi A123,Â
I've been on and off to G.A since I was about 17 so I always ended up there when I got to the point where I felt that the gambling had me beat. A lot of the time I would say I was going to do something about it but when it came to it, in truth, I wasn't ready to stop. I would do some things, like say I'd go to G.A or in your partners case, say I'd contact Gamcare but not follow through.
For all the promises I made to my wife, there wasn't really anything she could do to make me, I had to come to the realisation myself.Â
It sounds like you are helping him to stay away from that bet, which is great, but for a lot of people it's the shame of having to turn to others for help which stop them actually getting help.
It's a long story but I only got to the point of reaching out for help when I felt like I had no where else to turn and I didn't want to feel how I was feeling anymore. This happened many times and each time I went further and further down before I reached out. It went from losing an amount of money and thinking that was the end of the world to losing a job because of my gambling to my wife and kids leaving me. Each time I felt that I had reached the rock bottom point of my life, and at the time it was.
As I said I find GA a place that really helps me. Unfortunately the meetings are currently closed but when we re-open maybe suggest he goes there to see if he has anything in common with the other members. You can't look after him and the money for the rest of your life but I'm afraid it might have to get worse before it gets better.
Chris
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