Hi everyone
Ive only just found this site and i hope it will help me
Im out of control, i dont know how to stop!
Today alone ive spent £90 on online slot machines, mostly chasing losses. I have 2 credit cards maxed out and i owe my paypal £190 which is now in debt collecters hands.
I work 3 jobs, have a happy marrage, own my own home, have 2 wonderful kids so why am i doing this??!!
Its like a black hole that sucks me in as soon a there is money in the bank...i cant help myself!
No one is aware, its my darkest secret.
I get paid monthly, its due on friday...most of it will go on the credit cards, which will give me credit available again which i will then spend online slots after my wages are gone.......
Yesterday my husband transfered £80 into my account for some bills that fell due before payday....its gone online slots...no bills got paid..i will pay them friday but will be added charges on them, its a never ending circle!
What the hell is wrong with me?!
Hi jinxed...Welcome to the right place....give the helpline a call...they are great...will not judge you...just help...self excluded from the online sites...you will not win love...you will end up more in debt...speak to your husband if you can...or a close friend... the more you play the worse it will get...good luck x
Hi, thank you for your replys, there is no way i can tell him, i need to sort it out myself, hopefully from today. I have read a few threads on here today, i have installed the k9 and tried to self exclude myself from most of the sites im a member of, i already had deposit limits set but there is so many sites!
Well done in doing that k9...I have not told my hubby yet as want to get recovery underway and feel stronger before I do...but I have told daughters...and couple id friends....some on here will disagree with how we have chosen not to tell hubbies as it should all be about open and honesty....but I think every case is unique. ..and as long as we mean we want to stop and are making posative efforts to do so then I think we have to do what's right for us.....read diarys on here....you will learn so much....only you know your hubby and the impact telling him will have....is love to be sharing this recovery with mine....but because of domestic issues that's not possible while I am so week at the moment...getting stronger everyday so we will see what happens along the way...the main thing is I am not gambling anymore.....I wish you all the luck and strength to get through the early days of no gambling xxx
Hi jinxed
Sounds like you really need to talk to someone. Try calling the Gamcare helpline and they will help with counselling. You really need somebody at home to talk to if you have a family member or close friend. My oh has stood by me but never talks about it. However my mum knows and she has been amazing. Like yourself mine was online slots and it was every penny. If I only had £5 a available then I would find a site which would allow me to deposit that low. After 22 years of gambling and being bailed out of debt by my oh I still mounted up a further 12k of debt. That is now being managed by a DMP and I've over halved that.
Well done on installing the software.....just be sure that there are no other devices that you can secretly gamble on. I along with many on here understand the secrecy that goes with gambling and it is a seperate life we lead.
Hope you can gain lots of help and support on here and I wish you the best of luck in your recovery.
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