Just wanted to post to say hello, I've been reading these forums for the past four months since I finally admitted to my nearest and dearest that I had a problem with gambling.
The things that strikes me about many other posts on here is the similarity of how most of us end up here, which is surely by design. Nevertheless, I still accept responsibility for my own actions.
Like many others, what was a fun and relatively harmless distraction putting on football accumulators and the odd horse for many many years, suddenly changed a couple of years ago when I discovered free spins, and an entry into the world of slots. While I could objectively see that this was akin to a crack dealer offering a free hit to an unsuspecting punter, nevertheless I saw this as a way to turn free pennies into pounds. Now at this point, i wasn't really losing money, but what I didn't realise I was doing was conditioning my head into gambling mode. What then followed was the odd tenner her and there deposited to continue playing. I then began to take 'advantage' of all the other offers on sports, slots that I could find, despite knowing the debt was starting to creep up, you always think you are gaming the system and it's only a matter of time before your strategy pays off and you get that big win.
2 years later, despite some wins along the way, I finally hit rock bottom and having depleted all my personal savings and maxed out 3 credit cards, I was forced to admit to my dark secret. I'm thankful that my partner, while distraught at the mess I had made and my double life, has stood by me as have my family. I have a long road ahead to rebuild the trust and to dig myself out of the hole but you have to start somewhere right?
I committed to the 5 year gamstop there and then which has now meant I have gone 4 months without wasting more money and precious time. It has not been easy, but I can definitely feel the positive effects of my brain being reprogrammed. I no longer see slots in my sleep, and in all honesty, I can't even remember what most of them looked like. I can watch a match without being more concerned about who has been booked or how many shots on target they've had. The hardest parts are normally when I'm on my own at a loss for how to fill my time, or when i see friends posting on chats about their bets, although ive turned as much off as I can. I started reading again but that fell by the wayside. I know I'm only at the beginning of a very long road ahead but I'm definitely starting to feel like I'm slowly getting back to a more normal existence.
Great work mate. It’s amazing how similar everyone’s story is. Some part of someone’s story always relates to mine. Glad you have managed this and seem to be doing well. You mentioned seeing slots in your sleep. It triggered my memory. That’s all I used to think about in bed, also or awake. Been such a nice feeling not having that running through my head when I close my eyes.
Thanks for posting. Another positive story to keep me inspired.
Stay strong 💪
@73rbaf1eut Evening O&U
What a open and honest outpouring. So powerful to read. Support networks like Gamcare are critical to open up dialogue about gambling harm. Was a taboo when i supported my son for 9 years really. I also commend you opening up to your family who have supported you. My relationship was at rockbottom with my son and it only rebuilt when he was totally honest. He reports waking up now with a clear mind and not fretful each day of the web of lies he created.
You have a plana and you have done well. Best wishes to you. Heres to you keeping on the right path and start to enjoy the simple things in life.
Support is out there for you and your partner from Gamcare. Tailored help to you needs or just an ear on the end of a non judgmental phone or chat line.
Call 0808 8020 133
Best wishes
Patsy
Online peer supporter
@73rbaf1eut ditto ditto ditto matey lol
I have had the exact experience.
Gambling starting fun but being secretively getting out of control. Massive debts on credit cards ect. Breaking down and telling my nearest and dearest.... Them supporting me but the problem still not going away.
Finally stopping but dreaming about slot wins. One dream I had I was in the garden and the entire sky was a slot reel. It hit the bonus and there were gold coins raining down in the sunshine and the bells were all ringing lol. Talk about screwed up!
It is great to hear you feel your brain reprogramming. Mine is as well, but it is taking time and work.
Thanks for sharing your story 👍
Thanks for taking the time to reply guys. Its nice to hear my story resonated with others and i wish you all well with your own gambling free journeys.
Although I didn't post until yesterday, this forum was a bit of a lifeline in the first couple of weeks. It really helped me see past the self-loathing and shame that was causing me so much turmoil.
For anyone who is maybe looking at this page for the first time and trying to make sense of their own addiction, please know you are not alone, and no matter how big the problem is there is help and support out there. Taking the first step to fess up to your loved ones is without doubt the hardest step, but once it's out there you can start to sort things out. Carrying on with your head in the sand is only going to prolong the inevitable and dig a deeper hole.
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
