Hello, I guess

Hi J and welcome to the forum , I think youv'e answered your own question " Can I learn to control my gambling" just by being here and I'd have to say No you can't and quitting is the best option ? , many of us on here have thought we could control our gambling , only for it to continue and end up in a far worse situation , I also considered myself to be quite a rational thinking man but when I was in the zone as it were , all rationality dissapeared quicker than the cash I was feeding the machine with !

Hi J - hope you are doing well.

I agree with Alan, it's got to be completely stopped. You're already chasing losses when you believe it's "your turn" as you put it - which will only get worse as time goes on and you'll lose every thing, and possibly more than just money.

maybe try putting what you would spend on slots in a separate savings account or money jar, give it a week, and count it up, that'll be a better feeling than any win/withdrawal that ends up being reversed/lost anyway

Hi DJ,

Roll back to the beginning of 2009 and I could easily have posted your original post here. I loved playing slots, getting the features and free spins, the thrill of it all. But at what cost, wasting hundreds a month, thousands of pounds in debt, no prospect of retirement from work, because I would never be able to afford it.

To change that you have to be serious about quitting. I only changed around my life, with a lot of willpower, plus support from family/friends and even strangers on the internet.

In answer to controlling it, the answer is certainly not a first, 100% quitting is the only way forward. That way the mind gets a chance to focus away from gambling and the person then realises that they can do without it. Bank accounts becoming more healthier, more time spent doing other stuff in life, keep the person on the right track.

Many people obviously do gamble in a controlled manner, but then gambling is usually very low down their lists in things to do in life. A compulsive gamble will have it very near the top and in many cases right at the top, leading to complete destruction not only of themselves, but others around them.

Hi Determined J

I know all about slots and have to ask are you really having fun? Take away the money element and they become dull as dish water. They are essentially about the intensity of how you are seeking dopamine. After a long session I would be worn out then deeply depressed. During a session the overiding feeling was stress. Thinking about it Im not sure I ever had fun. It was just a series of intense chemical rushes and emotions...tthe machines are set up to give a rollercoaster ride of emotions...which break down any defences and you sort of want more of it through chasing and emotional need

They are highly dangerous and I think if you are honest you already know the losses and why you have the courage to join the forum.

They are essentially a losing game programmed up to hook people. You may have noticed they dont give out the big prize until the moon turns blue. The smaller stuff is neither here nor there especially to a compulsive gambler. The industry know its highly likely that gets fed straight back in anyway

The machines have entered a new era of maximum addiction and minimum regulation

Im clear on it and I want you to focus that I didnt have any significant wins in 10 months of playing. Thats the reality of gambling. The reality is that you may never win more than token or false amounts. The reality is that I was playing for a feeling of three bonus symbols and the money would have made no real difference to my life anyway. Its more complicated in thet the money lost did make a big difference and I had to borrow to eat.

Its a trance and an addiction. You must stop now and take the fight on by self excluding and telling people close to you

Being gamble free is a lovely feeling and I hope you will join us

Best wishes

Thanks guys. It is funny but I think the overwhelming emotion in reading your replies is relief. No one in the real world knows I gamble; it has always been a sort of guilty pleasure but I knew it was getting out of control. I have lost days where every spare moment was spent on the iPad or phone spinning reels which isn't normal behaviour and deep down I knew that.

For me, that rush of emotion (even though on reflection I can agree it is not particularly healthy) is most of the fun. Stuck at home after a long day and a bit fed up so log in to the highs and lows and extremes of online gambling. It was never about the money which is probably why I never held on to it long enough to actually win. A friend who went through a bad period and self-harmed said he just wanted to feel something. Perhaps it is similar; anything being better than boredom and feeling empty. A time away from slots may help me find answers. It is certainly worth looking.

Wish you all the best with your situation Determined. I would always see it as an escape, the thought of getting the highs and lows as you discribed was very inviting for me. Sitting in your bedroom or living room and feeling that rush ill admit as we all have was very addictive. It isnt until you take a step back that you realise how damaging this all is. Before you know it you have lost precious time and money.

I go back to a story I had from sports betting. Visiting my grandfather in the hospital, I could do not nothing but stare at the *** **** screen as the match I had a bet on was inplay. As he lay there asking me how my day was I could only mutter a simple "ok" as I continued to watch the football on my phone. Sadly his passing meant I would never get that time back.

I started just like you with simple bets and fruit machines. Then moved to the lottery, scratch cards until I was placing £100 on each bet I placed. Stop completely before this horrible addiction takes over. I am now nearly 3 years clean and couldnt be happier!

Get out there and live your life! 😀

Thank you all for your comments and advice. I have spent the last part of today closing accounts and self excluding. Some sites don't exactly make that easy. One took an online form, a verification email, an online chat and a further email and still came back to say my reasons were unclear. I know gambling sites are businesses set up to make profits but that just doesn't seem fair. I have ended my gambling career with a bit of a victory. Found £105 sitting on one of my accounts and managed to withdraw it. After an afternoon on here, I really had no compunction to gamble it. Only a drop in the ocean of my losses but still felt rather nice. Tomorrow will be day one so I think I will start a diary as has been suggested by some on here. Seems as good a plan as any.

Yes please do get a diary going, it sounds as if, you are at a crossroads, whereby it could get really serious or you take the opportunity to nip it in the bud.

Any sites that make it difficult to close down, you should consider reporting. Any sites, that simply won't close your account down at all, should definitely be reported. Decent sites, will also remove you from email and postal lists. If not as soon as you get an email from them, unsubscribe from the mailing list.

You then need to look at ways to ensure you can't gamble, at the drop of a hat, by putting in blocks.

Proud of you for withdrawing the money buddy! - Keep it up and I wish you all the best with your recovery. I know you can do it!