Hi there, I need some support or advice please i am desperate. I am currently from the UK.
My partner of 6 years recently found out about my gambling addiction on my phone. We have a 3yr old daughter and I am 6 months pregnant with our second child. We spent some time apart and are now back living together however he said because I have lied to him and spent money that was for other purposes he cannot trust me. He says he understands it wasn't intentional and that it was the addiction and he doesn't think I am a bad person however he does not want to be with me anymore. I absolutely hate myself for what I have done to him. He said down the line who knows.
I also unexpectedly lost my mum this year and I am still grieving her loss right now more than ever.
I am seeking help I have registered with gamstop and have a gambling block on my phone now and I am currently awaiting counselling to get over this addiction.
Has anyone been in my position before? How do I try and help us move forward and get him to let me try and fix things. I am at such a loss. It is worse because we have a mortgage so we are both living together more so for the sake of our daughter.
Thank you for reading and any advice would be appreciated 🙏
Hi,
I’’m so sorry to read all this, it must be terrible for you.
I guess it’s just really raw for him at the moment but I really feel sad for you that he has almost walked away!
I hid a 4 year gambling addiction from my husband, I even took out debt in his name (tens of thousands of pounds to be precise) He was upset but more that I couldn’t talk to him about it and went through it alone.
All you can do now is show him you want to stop and that you’re getting help. But please don’t beat yourself up so much, because all it will do is make you go back to gambling. It’s an illness and I certainly wouldn’t wish it on my worse enemy.
Can he take over all the finances so you can show him that way you’re not gambling?
I really hope it works out for you 😢
Claire x
First thing first hand over your finances to a trust family member do all the usual gameban etc. What u can is get yourself to Ga and use the online chatrooms do as much as u can as this addiction thrives on negativety he can also come on family and friends chat and speak to other people yes the addiction is tough however their are people who have improved and have been decades free, the problem is its one of the worst addictions their simply no cure for it but with time and you being honest chances are he will come round to it, i dont know your situation but i my situation am surprised my family have put up with me for this especially the amount of times i relapsed after making so many promises it only recently since 2012 when i first realised i had a problem understanding my triggers that i slowely improving its life long illness
@cpparch I feel like he has walked away, as far as he is concerned we are over and it is just so awkward at home, everytime I look at him I just cry for what I have put him through I just hate myself so much right now for that.
I want to work on the relationship but he won't even talk to me about it right now until the finances are sorted which I'm trying.
I just feel like I have ruined my whole life and everything I have put into this relationship it just really sucks right now 😕 he won't offer me any support at all, and makes things worse with losing my mum not so long ago aswell. I'm just at a proper loose end I haven't got anyone to talk to, its just really rubbish 😫
@yoqcbp28fw I’m so sorry. Give him time, ask him to read about a gambling addiction, so he can maybe get a little more of an understanding on it?
I really hope he will start talking to you, especially with another baby on the way.
Have you run up debt too?? X
@tazman yes I have done all of that. I am awaiting counselling aswell. I just hate myself for everything, more for what I have done to him, its eating me alive. I don't want to throw this relationship away I just don't really know how to fix it. I'm just struggling with everyone and I have no one to talk to either which isn't helping.
I am an addict
@cpparch yeah we are talking only for our child though. We are no longer together im heart broken. He doesn't want to support me in anyway so that isn't going to help anything. Its just really c**P to be honest. I spent like £800 on gambling that was meant for other purposes which I am going to pay back over the coming months
@yoqcbp28fw my debt over 70 K! £800 is absolutely amazing and it not being any worse than that. If only he could see the difference?
@cpparch I know I thought exactly that tbh. Maybe its all still really raw for us right now. He thinks in time who knows, maybe we just need time to heal. He says whats important to him right now is me getting help which I am, and paying back the money again which I am. I'm hoping counselling will help steer me in the right direction.
@yoqcbp28fw really wishing you the best of luck! I’m on day 160 GF tomorrow and I won’t look back! I won’t let the demons take anymore from me x
@cpparch thank you so much. Hopefully I'll get there in the end. I had a drinking problem a few years back im 2 and a half years sober now and I know if I can do that I can deffo do this x
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