Hi I Just Recently Lost £1000 And Still In State Of Shock

rcb0788 wrote:

Hi

First I started gambling in Casino in London since January 2015. Since I strated I lost More thank £50000 pounds. Now I am in depth of £50000. I am having personal and family problem.

Please anybody to help me in advice.

Day by day I am having bad relationship with my surrending individuals.

I can not sleep. I have baby of 8 years old. I am always feeling axiety feeling norvious thinking that I need to pay back my relatives movey which is almost £20,000.

I have debt with bank almost £30,000.

Before I used to sleep 6-8 hours a day since I started gambling I can hardly sleep 4-5 house. My health and mind is going down day by day.

I tried to committed suicide few times but when I think about my family my little boy I feel helpless how they will survive withou me. I spent my saving £30,000 as well.

Now a days I am forgetting eveything do on time because of thining about my and my family future.

Hi RCB, welcome to the forum, a positive step, no matter how desperate things are for you,

Your last sentence said it all, your family would be a lot worse off without you – money can only do so much, it can’t replace the role of a parent.

What you have to do is stop burying your head in the sand my friend – you are letting everything get on top of you (which is completely understandable), which is making you more stressed and anxious, which leads to more gambling. At this moment in time, you have to be practical, you have to plan out your finances going forward and do whatever you can to work towards paying off your debts. It is a lot of money, but what choice do you have? You can make it worse, or you can move forward as best you can, there is no inbetween.

You have to be honest with everyone, you have to come clean because you are probably days away from your family and relatives finding out by themselves, which would be far, far worse. They will find out anyway, so you may as well tell them my friend, as hard as that may be.

Once everything is out in the open, and you have a plan going forward (even if that involves bankruptcy), you will start to sleep easier in time my friend – what has happened has happened, you can’t change it, and more gambling will only make things far, far worse. You are not a bad person, gambling has made you do bad things, but you are not a bad person, and you clearly care about your family, so now you must draw a line under your past and face everything head-on. My heart goes out to you, there will be tough times ahead, but better now than losing more money and ten years down the line when all your son has known is a Father who gambles. You are better than that my friend, you are worth a great deal to this world and to those around you, no matter what has happened.

JamesP

Hi FM79

I know the feelings! 1k or more out of your account! I did 1.2k on 20th/21st Jan! Absolute mug and I'm still (wrongly) beating myself up 50+ days gamble free later.

All I can say is we all make mistakes and it's a lesson learned if you stop now. I'm trying my best to stop all forms for a minimum of 1yr and then will re evaluate.

At least your still up on what you've spent and won. I'm £992 down on wins and losses, so your better than me.

Please make sure you don't do what I've been doing since and make life miserable for yourself as a result of your c**k up. By that I mean you don't see any positives in anything you do and do your best to not rack your mind about it constantly. It's Wasted energy and nothing can be done about money now.

I'm working overtime to recover what I've lost. I see this as good as it's something I wouldn't have done otherwise so I can say in 1 yrs time that I'm even. Otherwise I will be saying I've got 1k in my account but I should have 2.2k!

Wish you luck man and set up a day counter if you haven't already.

Reddy wrote:

Hi FM79

I know the feelings! 1k or more out of your account! I did 1.2k on 20th/21st Jan! Absolute mug and I'm still (wrongly) beating myself up 50+ days gamble free later.

All I can say is we all make mistakes and it's a lesson learned if you stop now. I'm trying my best to stop all forms for a minimum of 1yr and then will re evaluate.

At least your still up on what you've spent and won. I'm £992 down on wins and losses, so your better than me.

Please make sure you don't do what I've been doing since and make life miserable for yourself as a result of your c**k up. By that I mean you don't see any positives in anything you do and do your best to not rack your mind about it constantly. It's Wasted energy and nothing can be done about money now.

I'm working overtime to recover what I've lost. I see this as good as it's something I wouldn't have done otherwise so I can say in 1 yrs time that I'm even. Otherwise I will be saying I've got 1k in my account but I should have 2.2k!

Wish you luck man and set up a day counter if you haven't already.

Yes you are right compare to your losses and earnings i am still £55 up but some money i made was one year ago , i was playing so carefully that i made account of my winning and depositing but all winnings gone in one go. No matter how carefull we are, we are going to lose at the end. No one leaves gambling when they winning they only come here when damage already been done for seeking help this is what happened with me as well.

There is no ifs and buts when gambling but it hard to accept reality when we lose

4th day could not control start playing again with anxiety and depression started with £20 and nearly lost all when only £7 left and thinking about quitting but could not and took the risk continue playing and ended up winning £3 more total £23 and withdraw the money. Not the good sign

Hi deano,

I am trying and trying hard blocking software will not work in my case unless my mind accept the reality and accept the loss i can bypass any blocking software no matter if they password protected or i still have my provider's blocking software on but still can by pass.

I could be gamble free for many days maybe months if i was winning, because i keep regretting about my loss thats getting urges to play again. I quit gambling in 2015 when i was winning and £200 was better off. Even last few days i was considering to quit this is where the regrets come in that why i did not quit on time. I arranged counselling and going to attend GA meetings this Sunday

Thanks deano i hope once i come out of this i will never play again and never let bookies win

JamesP wrote:

[quote=rcb0788]

Hi JamesP

Thank you very much for your nice advice and I am trying to absorb your advice and follow these. I do not know how can I come out from this problem.

First I started gambling in Casino in London since January 2015. Since I strated I lost More thank £50000 pounds. Now I am in depth of £50000. I am having personal and family problem.

Please anybody to help me in advice.

Day by day I am having bad relationship with my surrending individuals.

I can not sleep. I have baby of 8 years old. I am always feeling axiety feeling norvious thinking that I need to pay back my relatives movey which is almost £20,000.

I have debt with bank almost £30,000.

Before I used to sleep 6-8 hours a day since I started gambling I can hardly sleep 4-5 house. My health and mind is going down day by day.

I tried to committed suicide few times but when I think about my family my little boy I feel helpless how they will survive withou me. I spent my saving £30,000 as well.

Now a days I am forgetting eveything do on time because of thining about my and my family future.

Hi RCB, welcome to the forum, a positive step, no matter how desperate things are for you,

Your last sentence said it all, your family would be a lot worse off without you – money can only do so much, it can’t replace the role of a parent.

What you have to do is stop burying your head in the sand my friend – you are letting everything get on top of you (which is completely understandable), which is making you more stressed and anxious, which leads to more gambling. At this moment in time, you have to be practical, you have to plan out your finances going forward and do whatever you can to work towards paying off your debts. It is a lot of money, but what choice do you have? You can make it worse, or you can move forward as best you can, there is no inbetween.

You have to be honest with everyone, you have to come clean because you are probably days away from your family and relatives finding out by themselves, which would be far, far worse. They will find out anyway, so you may as well tell them my friend, as hard as that may be.

Once everything is out in the open, and you have a plan going forward (even if that involves bankruptcy), you will start to sleep easier in time my friend – what has happened has happened, you can’t change it, and more gambling will only make things far, far worse. You are not a bad person, gambling has made you do bad things, but you are not a bad person, and you clearly care about your family, so now you must draw a line under your past and face everything head-on. My heart goes out to you, there will be tough times ahead, but better now than losing more money and ten years down the line when all your son has known is a Father who gambles. You are better than that my friend, you are worth a great deal to this world and to those around you, no matter what has happened.

JamesP

Been one week since my big loss, apart from playing once, i did not play anymore, been to ga meeting was good experience. The fight is on and will keep fighting.

Hi FM79.

What you have written is a textbook example of how a gambling addiction starts and a very important point is that there can be gaps and sometimes long gaps while the addiction develops or festers in your mind.

I believe its pretty much in there one that neuron path of naughty pleasure has been formed in the brain. It acts like a drug and we come back for it

Thats what always confused me. I realise I was pretty much hooked from the age of twelve but there can be longish periods away from gambling which give the false impression that there is some control and its not an addiction.

My first time hooked me even though I came back from holiday and didnt have easy access to gambling for a while. I could argue that it was like a temprary block and I would have gambled if I could easily get to it. The addiction path had been formed in my brain though and for the next forty years I would binge gamble which eventually developed into almost daily gambling. I realise I was only really limited by access to money. The feeling of being slightly flush was a strong trigger even though the reality was I never had money to burn......ever.

The £20s and £75s and £100s lost all add up and its all about riding the losses with delusion. I never earned enough money to throw away any of it and I was never in control on those slot machines. Oh its only money I would think but £100 lost in a pub machine is a serious problem.

Its a nasty addiction which gets into us so we dont even feel like we are addicted. In later years I would blow £500 in an arcade or a £1000 over three days which was more to do with when I had access to more money. There is no rhyme or reason to it. Maybe a couple of days before I would have gambled £10 thinking I had some control over it

There is no real strategy and everyone in the grip of an addiction thinks they can just win a bit while totally ignoring the odds. Where does careful really come into it because the first pound you put in is an irresponsible act. What have we got sussed?...That its a free money machine? The bookies and casinos had some news for us but we didnt care as complete addicts.

I was a drug addict for gambling and once you have shown the symptoms the only way is abstinence and a full road to recovery

Best wishes

Don’t fool yourself. Every win from today is the seed of a much bigger lose from tomorrow!