Its taken a while but I've finally gone too far, gambled everything away like a petulant child because I was feeling stressed, I have a crazy busy life and gambling has become the only thing that is truly mine. I've always had a backup or kept something back. I am changed by gambling it draws me back every time and makes me feel detached when I cant cope. I have had problems and promised I would stop but always kept a site or two free but it has escalated over the last month and I've really messed up. I cant make things right I am so sorry for putting everyone in a awful position and I just wish I could go back in time. Gambling has made me sad and angry and behave in ways that I never have in my whole life. It makes me snaky and selfish and I blame everyone else for what essentially is just my problem. I used gamban today with all of the correct details and blocked my bank cards. I'm just glad I'm so socially awkward id never be able to visit the shops so I feel safe for now. I just don't know how to put this right and repair my relationships. I don't even understand why I do it. I have never felt good or benefitted it has only brought lies pain and misery...… just want to feel better. I have 5 children my partner works ALOT and I care for both my father and grandmother I just feel that I don't exist as a person without gambling. Everything I do is for others and I just want to be happy.
 Hi Edajj
Well done for posting and opening up here today.Â
There's always hope and always support and you can only move forward and take things one day at a time.Â
Try to do all that you can at the moment to look after yourself, try to get rest , try to exercise if you can , try to get some fresh air, try mindfulness and other self care and self help and try to stay healthy as possible.
Great that you have blocks in place, the key is to make it as difficult as possible to be able to gamble and having regular support. Whether this be 1-1 support or GA meetings for example.Â
Please feel free to contact the GamCare Helpline on 0808 8020 133 or Netline to explore the additional support available to you. We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week if you would like to talk to one of the GamCare HelpLine advisers.
KirkÂ
Forum AdminÂ
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