How has it got to this!

So sorry to hear that GradeA, you've done the right thing coming on the site and seeking help. Admitting that your gambling is out of control is a big step in itself. Call the Gamcare helpline and get some advice.

Reading your words, it could almost have been myself talking. I can totally relate to everything you said. I vividly remember staying up all night a few weeks ago, "winning" £15k, feeling on top of the world and thinking how I would pay off most of my credit card debt and also have a few treats. The following day, I couldn't stop thinking of the £15k sitting in my casino account, I thought my luck might hold and I could double it! You know the rest of course, I lost the lot and another £2k more within 2 hours. I couldn't believe it and felt sick to my stomach. Sadly, I carried on gambling to try and win back the money and lost even more until a few days ago when I took the plunge and phoned Gamcare. We can't ever win in the long run, because we are addicted and there is never an amount that we would be satisfied with. Stopping gambling is winning, so please seek help.

I am now over £40k in debt and working with stepchange at the moment to arrange a DMP.

Good luck.

BowWow x

This could be a blessing in disguise gradeA I know it may not seem like it at the moment as its still very fresh but this big loss could be a massive driving force in your recovery and the best thing of the whole thing is that your 22 so take this as a learning curve and move on with you life.

I wish you all the luck in the world with your recovery ​

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Cheers for the response guys!

Well tonight all the finances have to be passed accross to the better half! This in truth is going to be one of the most embarrassing things iv had to do! But I guess it has to be done!

As crazy as this sounds Iv still got the chain of thought going through my head that I can get back to the heights of last week. It was done so easyily and quickly it was almost to good to be true!

Iv never offically declared I'm stopping gambling in the past just sort of ducked and dived until iv had the funds to give it another bash! I think this time I really need to just accept my losses!

How are you guys been doing? Have you been stopped for a while or just starting out ?

hi

why would you want that amount of money in cash ?! wouldn't it have been better for it to go straight to your bank account ? Surely it's a big security risk not only when you collect it but leaving it around at home etc. You'd also have earned good interest on that amount. It seems to me that you felt very guilty about winning that kind of money, so you subconsciously put obstacles in the way to stop yourself from actually receiving it. Winning big didn't fit in with your self-destructive, nihilistic instincts as a CG. That is a huge amount of money to lose back. What you should have done is withdraw all of the money straight to your card in one go (I believe the daily limit on that site is 50k), changed the deposit limit on the site to £50 / day max, put a gambling-site blocker on your laptop straightaway, and give yourself at least a week off all gambling, maybe book a holiday for you & your partner.

The difficulty you will now have is that you will believe that it is possible to win that kind of money again so will eventually try again & repeatedly lose big in an effort to do so. Without even having seen any benefit of the big win ! i.e. clearing all your debts, having a good holiday, buying nice things etc. Tens of millions of people in this world are desperate for that kind of money, they would kill for it. That win was a once in a lifetime event. Face the fact that you don't gamble to win money, you use it as a masochistic tool of self-harm / self-abuse. So even when you win you lose, so what's the point ?

Hi GradeA

How have the last few days been? Hope you are managing to put the "win" and subsequent loss behind you and focus on each day at a time, gamble free.

I am now 5 days gamble free. Still in the early stages (like many others on here) but even 5 days feels like an achievement when I couldn't go 24 hours without gambling before this week. I'm starting to get my life back to some normality. I've finally admitted everything to a close friend and my immediate family, which was bloody hard but I feel so much better for talking to them. Anyway, this is not meant to be all about me, I'm just answering your question about how I'm doing 🙂 I still get urges, but don't have the funds or the ability to gamble now that I've put blocks in place. Quite a relief really.

I really hope you're ok. Let us know how you're doing.

Davey, I really don't think your post was particularly helpful or well meaning (just my opinion).

BowWow

Hi Grade A,

Welcome to the forum. I can relate to your story well - similar age (24) and similar region of debt. So I do completely understand how it seems the only way out of the hole is to get a big win. I'm really sorry to hear what happened when you did win, but I also think it could be a blessing in disguise. I've never really had a huge win but from reading some posts here, it only doubles the addiction and most people lose it all then even more. So, as gutting as it is, think of this as shortening your life as a gambler and chalk it up to experience. As both young people, what I think of often is that I don't want to end up in my 30s or 40s still in big debt and still spending my hard earned money on where a ball will land on a wheel. That's not to be disrespectful to the older posters here; I think they'd be the first to tell you to listen to their experience to do your best to make sure it doesn't happen again.

I'd really recommend now as a good time to get some software on your computer/phone that doesn't let you gamble. The beast will be big having made your way to a large sum so I imagine it'll be difficult. Congratulations on giving your finances to your other half - imagine it wasn't easy and I'm about to do the same so wish me luck!

Hope it's been a good few days for you. There's so much support here so read read read. And be honest with yourself.

Look forward to hearing how you're getting on.

C

It sucks being in a lot of debt through gambling, we live in such a money orientated society that we sometimes forget what's really important, like being happy and healthy. It's such a bitter pill to take, having to admit that you lost to gmabling and that you came out of it behind. I wanted to feel less like a loser and win some back, and then get out. Now I'm further behind, and am on a lot of medication for anxiety and stress.

If you can get yourself out of debt by working hard and paying it off piece by piece, without gambling again, then you'll be a true champion and you'll feel a hell of alot better in yourself.

Hi grade,

Wishing you the best of luck with fighting your addiction. Can't imagine how you must of felt after winning that amount and then putting it back on....the feeling I had when I did that with 900 was bad enough. Through supporting each other and being on here we'll conquer this addiction together x

I really do feel for you, but look at it this way had you withdrawn the money yes you would have cleared all your debt etc ( if you have any) but how long would it be until you found your self back in the same situation you was in to begin with. I've done the same thing many times I've won big cleared the debt had savings then a few months down the line I've just gambled it all away again. Sometimes it really does take something as harsh and as devastating as this to make you realise, I just hope that you domt potentially think we'll I've made 45k before I can do it again, trust me you won't and even if you did your more then likely going to just gamble it away again anyway. That's what us gamblers do and chasing loses are the worst and we're all guilty of doing it. We are still young and there's plenty of time for us to turn this around

Good luck x