How shall I tell my family

Hi Ajay55, 

Welcome to the Forum and well done for sharing. This sounds like a really difficult time for you, Feel free to contact  an adviser on the national gambling helpline: 0808 8020 133 or via our live chat, facebook or whatsapp messaging (24/7) as we can offer free support moving forward with this. We can also explore various ways to block your easy access to gambling (all support is free) 

We would encourage you to contact your landlord and local council to discuss these arrears as soon as possible so you can discuss your options and maybe arrange a payment plan moving forward. 

You could also access free debt advice by contacting a debt charity such as the national debtline, stepchange or payplan. 

I want to make sure that if you are having thoughts of harming yourself, you know who to reach out to. Samaritans can be reached 24/ on 116 113 and in the event of an emergency please dial 999. 

We hope you can also find further support through our forum, chatrooms and Gamcare community. 

Take care 🙂 

Tom (forum admin) 

Hello Ajay55

You need to get the words out to your family as soon as possible.

It's no good bottling it up in your head. A gambling addiction is an illness. You are an ill person in need of help to get better......Not a bad person trying to be good

The words won't come out right......don't worry about that......they need to know and hiding from it is absolutely no good for you

You can write a letter or a note if it helps but best to pick up the phone and word it in a way that you need help protection abstention and counselling

Yes you will get a REALITY check in the form of stunned silences but you need that reality to help you recover from this illness

They will soon understand that you didn't do it with an evil laugh to hurt them. As an addict you couldn't help it and help yourself.......we understand as we have been there

The forum is here for you.....your life will improve with recovery and you will earn money again to pay them back on a plan

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Not every family going to react the same i know my family didnt take accept it they never have until this day but it was the right thing to do the sooner u do it the better it is before u cause some serious damage

To put it bluntly ...you need to face the music 

You have 4 years until your 30 it will be hard going but you can turn it around i know because i did exactly the same 5 years ago 

First of all i would be up all night tonight completing job applications and looking for any short term work you can get your hands on , sell anything you don't need to generate some quick cash

And yes that means TV , iPhone , Playstation whatever it goes 

At least then you can go to your family and say look i know i've messed up but ive got a little bit of cash here and i am trying to get a job

If you do nothing this is going to get 10X worse and quickly 

Hi Ajay55,

Can't disagree with the advice you've been given by others. You think your brother ain't gonna notice £500 missing from his account ?. Put yourself in his position, if there was £500 missing from your account how would you like to find out, by accident or by him coming clean ?. It's the most awful thing coming clean, telling the truth & admitting you're powerless over your addiction. I felt physically sick to the stomach telling my wife all.

Having said that I doubt I'd have ever learned to control my addiction, without telling the absolute truth without compromise. I do know secrets & lies breeds more secrets & lies. Maybe in time he'll forgive you maybe not. However nothing is going to change until you realize you're ill, totally hooked on a drug called gambling. It's a sickness of the mind & our mind tells us we can't live without it.

The first step to getting better is coming clean, telling people that you have an addiction. Maybe there's a GA meeting near you, go to a meeting with an open mind. Learn as much as you can about your illness & soak up as much knowledge as you can. Put the same amount of energy you put into your guilt & shame into your recovery. Do whatever's necessary, hand over your finances to someone else who'll make sure bills are paid & you have the bare minimum cash you need to survive on. 

There is a way out of this life ( if it is a life ) but unfortunately one has to reach rock bottom in order to go forward. Do you want recovery above all else ?, are you sick of gambling or are you just sick of loosing ?. Are you ready to admit you ,money & gambling dens have a toxic relationship that needs to end. Are you prepared to totally commit & turn your whole life around for the better ?.

Best Wishes

AL