Hi,
So, here I am. Dan 39 and still think I'm 18 with no responsibility.
Long story short,
I've always enjoyed a flutter and I got pretty deep in poker, convincing myself it was skill and I was good!
I had some pretty horrific trauma as a youngster, did too much coke in my 20's and went to live in new Zealand to detox and get away and start fresh.
All was well, didn't s***k all my money up my nose or at the poker tables. I played every now and again but it genuinely was for fun and I was never in any danger of destroying my bank balance while high as a kite.
But....
I'm now back in blighty, and I've fallen deeper than i ever did before. I havnt enjoyed a pay packet since November, I get paid, I buy coke and I empty my account on online slots. Poker takes too long to hit big and slots is something i can't stop playing.
The drugs numb any sense of winning satisfaction and even after winning and banking a few grand I'm back pouring it back in!
I know I have to deal with the trauma and the drugs but its the gambling that's destroying my life... To the point I tried to end it.
Roll on 2months and GP's and crises and 6-12 month appointment times! And I'm back here again.
I am about to launch a business and I was given 5k as an investment. Now that 5k belongs to betway!!
I've phoned the help line, been referred to one on one counselling, I've chewed the ears off the Samaritans and now I'm here to say hello.
Hi Dan
Welcome to the forum and sorry to here how bad things are at the moment, you probably are in a really bad place at the moment mate from what you have said on your post and I can say things will get better but you have to WANT to stop gambling and taking the drugs for this to start to happen ! You have done good already in phoning the helpline and Samaritans in seeking help, all I will say is there anyone close you can confide in and share with them what's being happening ? I know you might not feel like it but I found talking to people and just being open and honest has helped me very much in my early days as well as my councilling sessions. Keep your chin up and just take things one day at a time and try and read other people's story's and even start your own diary for people to read. Hope you can get sorted as life is so much better when we are not gambling. Have you self excluded from the bookmakers or even put blocking software on your laptop depending how you gambled ? Keep posting over the next few days and let us know how things are going !!
All the Best
Darren
Hi Dannyj,
welcome to the Forum. It sounds like you have been through some really challenging times in your life, and also recently. But it also sounds like you are determined to turn things around and make some lasting changes and get all the support you can. Well done for that.
Keep posting, talking and sharing.
All the best,
Forum Admin
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