I cant cope!

Hi Jane

I first posted on this site when things got really bad for me because I used my partners card to gamble 300 in one night. This was the first time I took money that wasnt mine to gamble and I thank god that it happened because it really was the first day of the rest of my life.

I know the panic you are feeling now and I also know that you are afraid to exclude because all your money is thrown at it and how else are you gonna get it back? right? wrong- the very best thing you can do now is exclude because chasing that money is pointless- you will lose more. Them sites are designed to take your money. even if you had a win (as you did with the 1000) it will go back at some point or another.

Is there any way you can talk to your partner about what happened? (I didnt tell my partner about what I did only that I had a gambling problem and i needed to stop)

Its entirely up to you now what happens from here but I promise that with a few days/weeks behind you after stopping you will not believe how much your life can change for the better.

Keep posting and we are all behind you here.

Linda

Hi Linda,

Thanks for you reply. I have no money now so wont be able to go in for at least 5 days. I am hoping this will get better and i am able to stop. I am in massive debt (owing to my partner, mum, and household bills as well as payday loans) my partner knows about his money missing and as I said has given me an option of him or the gambling. I am trying to do a degree and have not written a word for about 2 months. i just want to feel normal and happy again. At this moment in time, im devastated, out of control and just want normality back,

Hi Jane

well let this be the worst of it then, draw a line start again. Your life will get better from today without gambling. It might all seem like a major uphill battle at the moment but once you accept that you cannot keep gambling as you will lose everything, you will feel better. Debts can be dealt with overtime- talk to your bill providers - more often than not they will give you a way of paying your bills so that you dont get cut off. Arrange a payment plan with your mum and partner so that you are paying them something. Once they see how dedicated you are in beating this addiction they will come round. As far as payday loans are concerned, you can write to your bank and tell them to remove the continuous payment authority (they are legally obliged to do this and there are letter templates online). Then you can phone around to payday loans and explain that you can pay them a minimal amount each month.

Start a diary on here and post every day good and bad (you can also let your family read it if you think it would help)

Gambling has taken a lot from you - dont let it take anymore. Make a stand and fight the addiction. You can do it.

Linda

i meant to add that when you have dealt with these things that are at the forefront of your mind at the moment- you will have so much time for your degree too x

Some good advice i can see has been given. I know its hard and you will struggle, there will be times where that voice in your head will trick you into going in, signing up online or find a way to gamble, you have to say no to it as we all have it, that voice.

Remember, and don't think this is any reason to gamble, but money is not as important as family, losing them will be the worse loss of all. What you need to do is think that this is it, this is the time that your going to stop, think positive, never negative, because it becomes a spiral of depression when your thinking about how much money you loss and then feel guilty and turn back to gambling because you want to reclaim that money but instead lose more money and its a vicious circle, trust me i know, im going through the same feelings but there is hope, believe in yourself that you can do it, you can ignore that voice, picture it however you want, as the devil depending on your beliefs whatever you decide you must ignore it .

I turned to gambling because my girlfreind left me and took my son with her, since then ive been addicted however i woke up this morning after spending alot of money yesterday online and really thought about where im heading and realised i need to change, it was only when i spent time with my son that i drew strength to join this site and share my feelings because we can draw strength from each other and help, because gambling makes you feel isolated and alone and that adds to the downward spiral.

Remeber you are not alone, there are people to help you but you must take a stand and be strong, forget the money you lost, think about what you will lose in the long run and ask yourself is it worth

Jane. Welcome to the forum. Not a great deal to add to what has been said but I know that there is a way past this low point. Please feel free to read my diary which started when I lost 12k in one night in September. Contact gamcare, get support but know there is no way of winning this game. Accept that and it will get better.