I don't understand why I keep doing it, it doesn't even give me joy anymore

Same here mate, no one same scale but still same problems. Don't bet, then small bet leads to more and more then self loathing and then get over it and do it again. Gamestop makes it harder to bet as I am banned from all online, banned from local book makers but not all check and banned from labdbased casinos. Just have to take each day as it comes and try not to bet, over time the urge will reduce. 

Keep strong 

Hi 

Im in the same boat,since covid im out of control i am good for some time and then I go bananas.i am shamed and sick thinking of the money i have lost. Last 2 sundays spent about 10 hours hitting a button and ina trance while empting my hard earned money. For what i ask. I wonder have i done something to the wiring of my brain.  I hope that was the last Sunday session dont think i can take another monday feelingike this.  Best of luck to you 

Try and remember how bad your feeling  now, next time you want to gamble. Keep that thought in your head and it might persuade you to.not gamble. No point having a bet if it leads to more bets and big losses. 

100% understand this , in my head I think I’m not gambling again and totally believe myself , but the next day I am gambling and I honestly don’t get it , I don’t enjoying winning and it’s so time consuming. I always think , what could I have done with that money I’ve just lost and it starts to affect me and then I try win it back. 

Hi

I did not want to keep going back to meetings yet I saw no other way of finding a much healthier life.

The gambling alcohol and obsessions just indicated that I had certain emotional triggers.

Each time I went back to my addictions I found that there was a certain unhealthy habit  and certain emotional triggers.

In time I got to exchange my unhealthy habits in to healthy habits.

I use to say that people life and situations stressed me out.

No one stressed me out I just use to react in unhealthy ways.

The only person that could stop me gambling was my self.

In effect by going to gambling establishments and giving my money away while I and my family went with out.

Stress and anxiety were fear based issues.

I was clean for some time then understood I had fears in me wheich were very unhealthy.

In good time I gave up talking about money and being action.

I started to give therapies.

Recovery for me means healing.

Recovery for me means healing my hurt inner child.

So far doing OK, 12th day in and no gambling. The big test comes on Wednesday pay Day always a bad day for me when the common sense goes out of the window.