Today I have decided to create myself an account, and to be honest I should have done a lot sooner. I'm 23 years old and I have been addicted to gambling for a few years now. After reading through some people's posts I thought by creating an account it would help me talk to people who are going through the same as myself and could get some advice from people who have been there and come through it.
The main part of the problem for me and I know I'm not alone in this but being able to gamble online through apps has made it way too easy to waste money - for me it feels like I'm not even spending anything. I absolutely love football so football is mainly what I bet on, I've had some huge wins and obviously some huge losses. Between October and the end of November 2015 I had won about £6grand and my bank balance was looking really healthy. I put a deposit down on a brand new car (which I am now struggling to afford) and was able to treat myself to new clothes etc, more nights out and not really have to worry too much about what I was spending. By the end of December I'd lost every single penny and more, and since then I've been chasing and have carried on losing. It got to the end of January and I decided I needed to do something about it, I managed to cut down and I was only putting on the odd accumulator here and there. But for some reason I gave in and decided to downloaded the apps again and I was back to square one. Last week I found myself struggling for money again, and having taken out pay day loads I find myself in a small amount of debt and currently in my over draft which I am struggling to get of. I've started by downloading every single app and creating an account and blocking it straight away so I have no access to online gambling anymore which is a step in the right direction.
The worst thing I have found is reflecting over the last few months or so in particular and realising how much of an idiot I have been. I am in a good job which pays very well yet I have absolutely nothing to show for it. I have no money saved and even if I had I'd have spent it all gambling. Me and my now ex girlfriend have split up because of problems we were having, and it's***t home that these problems were all because of me and my bad habit. I couldn't bring myself to tell her the truth and I wish I had been honest with her and myself a long time ago now. I would do anything to have her back but to be honest she deserves better than a gambling addict like me. The only people I have told is my mum and my brother, and to be fair they have tried to make me feel better about it and trying to help me overcome this, but they have no idea what it's like to be addicted, the buzz you get from winning and the depression that comes with losing. I have not been myself for a long time, and I am prepared to turn my life around and get myself back on the right tracks because I don't want to feel like this anymore or ever again.
im not looking for any sympathy from anyone as I know this is my own fault, I just want people to understand how I feel and help me get through this.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post.
Your right Grimmo, few have any idea what its like to gamble everything you have and more. yet there are people who do. Why not give Gamcare a ring or there's always help like Gamblers Anonymous?
I shouldn't be feeling sorry for myself because I got myself into this mess. But no one understands what it's really like. I plan on doing that, I'm prepared to do anything to get my life back on the right track again.
Grimmo
I am the parent of a gambler and you are in the same age group as them and your story is so similar. You can beat this but do not try to tackle it on your own. If you have already told your family that is a great first step and coming on here is even better. However, there a practical steps you need to take like self excluding yourself from sites and asking your family if they would help you control your finances to make it more difficult for you to be tempted to spend your money. This all seems to be working for us at the moment. If you speak to a counsellor on here they will give you more detailed and professional advice on how to tackle this.
Good luck
Hi Grimmo , I'm a bit late but welcome to the forum .
None of us are looking for sympathy when we arrive here, just an understanding from likeminded folk who understand exactly what were going through with our addiction , that's why this place makes such a good tool for recovery .
IUnfortunately you can't undo the past but you can certainly shape your future , which at your age is a great benefit , I'm sorry about your relationship breaking down but glad that you realise now how gambling affects those around us , it's also good news that youv'e told your mum and brother and although you say they don't really understand , it means that your not hiding your addiction and as we all know gambling thrives on secrecy .
The best advice I can give is to let go of all the losses , accept totally that the moneys gone and that you no longer want to chase it, because thats what gambling will use to suck you back in to the cycle you need to break .Now youv'e stopped as difficult as things can be at the start your debt will not increase , so look on that as a positive as well , things will improve but it just takes a little time to notice the changes .
I came here 9 months ago , pretty messed up and very , very broken , this place and all its wonderfull supportive people have fixed me and I'll always be gratefull for that , I've not gambled since that day so I feel I can vouch as to it working .
Just put all your barriers in place to keep your time, money location triangle broken , have a bit of faith and a bit of willpower and you'll be just fine my friend , above all keep posting and venting , it really helps !
Best wishes and welcome to recovery !
Alan
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