Hi everyone
My names Adam I am 29 years old and I am a compulsive gambler. I have known for years that I have had issues with gambling but over the past year and a half it has spiralled out of control. Badly. Today alone I lost £900. Money that is supposed to be going towards a mortgage deposit for a first house for my partner, son and I.
I can't help myself. I get urges that just spiral. I can go weeks without gambling then payday hits and I go mental. I am hiding it from everyone. I am gambanned, gambling blocked on my phone and signed up to Gamstop. However recently I learnt that there are websites that don't have this feature and as such I have really lost myself again recently.
I feel like a disappointment to all those around me but I can't come clean I have around 7k debts in credit cards and loans that have increased in this period. I struggling but can't see a way out. I just keep relapsing I've been clean for years before. But now without any outgoings and higher earnings I can hide it easier.
I'd love to chat to someone who can help.
Thanks
Adam
You’ve made a start by coming clean with yourself. If you can’t come clean to your family, find someone you can come clean to. Phone GamCare, start an honest diary, go to GA. This is a tough journey and you need an honest outlet. You can beat this, but without some help you are making it harder. I’ve managed 200 days, I’ve been to GA, I’ve had GamCare calls, I’ve kept a diary. It needs work from you. It will be the best thing you’ve ever achieved, trust me. I’m seeing the results and I’ve never been happier.
Stay strong 💪
'i can't come clean' isn't true. You just don't want to. I know I had over twenty of the same mindset.
Sorry to be blunt and happy to answer any questions you might have, I'm also an addict, I've chosen to not gamble today. I've chosen to not gamble every day for 7 1/2 years in a row, I'm still an addict and I feel cold inside as I think about how much trouble I ended up in by allowing myself to say 'I can't come clean'.
You can do this, if you choose to.
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