Hi, I'm Connor, a 19 year old compulsive gambling addict. I'm a University student in the UK and before I start to get into debt (luckily im not already) I want to stop gambling for the rest of my life.
I have been gambling since I was 13 on fruit machines in a local arcade , I began to borrow money and even steal on occasions when I was 15/16 and began to bet online and ask my friends/families to place football bets etc. for me. I created a Pokerstars account when I was 16 and started depositing money using pre-paid vouchers from Newsagents in my area. It didnt get really bad until I hit 18 and since then I have been spending thousands of pounds per month on gambling. I was addicted to sports betting in the first few months since turning 18 and now I bet at least £200 on some games because I cant find enjoyment in low bets. I then moved onto online slots and table games (mostly blackjack). I had a serious addiction to blackjack in 2016 but now its mostly slot machines at online casinos. I'd hate to know how many online casinos I'm registered at :(. I've had huge wins on blackjack/slots but mostly I lose terribly and feel depressed for days (sometimes thousands).
I attend a good Uni and I have a bright future ahead of me but I'm scared this addiction will prevent me from having the successful career that everyone believes i will have. I took some counselling sessions (2 in total) in 2016 but I quit as I thought It was 'pointless' and 'silly'. Today I had a loss and was crying for hours and couldn't concentrate on the University work I have to do and it left me depressed for hours and I just want to quit this addiction forever. The only bright side is that despite all the stupid choices, borrowed money off parents and terrible addiction I have is that Im young and I have asked for help now rather than when it's way too late.
At the moment I cant go one single day without gambling but let's hope that changes quickly...
Hi Connor,
Welcome to the forum, and thanks for posting. I hope you're finding it to be a supportive place so far. It sounds like gambling has caused a lot of stress in your life already, so now's a great time to work on quitting and making the most of your time at university. That's great that you're realizing this while you're still young, but you'll have to take some active steps towards your recovery if it's going to be solid.
First, have you put up as many barriers to gambling as you can? That means blocking gambling sites if necessary using blocking software ( http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/what-can-you-do/blocking-software#.VBwD8fldXww ), potentially just having a basic phone rather than a smartphone, like a lot of gamblers choose to do, and putting self-exclusions in place if needed, both online or in betting shops.
It might be a good idea for you to give counselling another shot. It's very common for people to need more than one go at it, and we've got partner agencies in many parts of the country that provide specialist gambling counselling at no cost. You can get in touch with us using the number at the top of the page if you'd like to speak to us more about this, we'd be happy to point you in that direction. Counselling could really help you work on ways to manage your urges better when they come up, which is helpful for pretty much anyone with an addiction to something.
Finally, what else can you get involved in at uni? Now's the time to be developing interests, hobbies, friendships, all of that, and the busier and more active you keep yourself with interesting things, the less appeal gambling will have. You've got your whole life ahead of you, so please build things into it that are healthy and rewarding. Gambling will only cause you stress and hardship, as you've seen, and it's certainly not fun to cry for hours over gambling losses.
If you'd like to talk to us further about any of this, feel free to call us on the Helpline or Netline and we'd be happy to chat with you. Hope this helps, and all the best with your studies.
Hang in there,
Travis
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