Morning (I would say good but is isn't) everyone. I have finally come to the end of the road (like James P did) and the realisation has hit home that I am never ever going to recover the mammoth losses I have suffered over the last five years. The heartache realising this is almost too much to bear, I don't know where my financial future is going to lead me too. (but I have stopped before I bankrupted myself) my retirement plans are in tatters.I always thought I could beat the 'fotb' machine or the 'on-line casino', but anyone out there reading this will be fully aware in their heart of hearts YOU CAN'T!. I'm not sure what is worse the loss of so much hard-earned savings or the deceipt to loved ones of promising 'gambling is over' when clearly is wasn't. I categorically have ruined my future life I am 57, I was looking forward to early retirement at 63 with my partner, that is totally out of the question now. Are there any words out there to sum up how I feel ............. NO NO. Utter dejected depression, anger at succumbing to a stupid game which became addicitive ( addicitive in wanting my losses back). Where does one go from here, my lot is less than many, more than a few, how do I ever tell my cherished girlfriend that I have gambled again and ruined our future life together. ............ The anguish.
Hi,
The main thing here, is you have realised that it has got to stop. You're not going to get it back, it's gone, so that's it, you need to look forward.
From here on in, every penny not gambled is a penny saved towards your retirement.
While I'm 14 years younger than you, retirement played a part in my resolve to stop gambling. I didn't wish to have to work in my late 60's let alone my 70's or even 80's if I'm still on this earth.
The surprising thing, I found was that when I stopped and looked after just the first month, I realised just how much I had been gambling away. £500 + a month in my case.
It is likely to be the same for you too, if you can focus on putting that money away and tightening the belt here and there (another thing I have done) you too can still enjoy a retirement, even if it's not quite as early. Although you could well be surprised.
Stick around and get a diary going.
Hi
I'm younger but with this addiction age isn't a factor i feel as it's destroying at any age and affects your life so hugely. I'm at the beginning of my own journey, i managed to "wake up" just before the bankruptcy stage too. Everyone is different, but you've opened up by sharing on here. I agree with steve1970, just stopping for a week even can financially make a huge difference. The depression and anxiety is crippling but it can be overcome. Do you really feel you can't tell your partner? They may feel sad about it but would it be useful for you to get it out in the open?
Start your diary, it really is useful, you can things off your chest and really get out how you're feeling. Have you thought of getting counselling? I'm seeing a counsellor at the moment and find for me sharing on here gets it out here and now, seeing a 'real' person makes it a real problem and that is leading to real help and real solutions.
Wishing you all the best and keep posting
Just reading my previous diary posts, can see someone who wanted to stop, but was unable too because of the losses, he wanted back, now I guess that rock bottom has been reached, where my life takes me now who knows? Every day is a struggle with what to eat, what lie to tell next (in regards to spending or why do you live in that area, your car is due for a change, shall we book a holiday for next year?) sat here head in hands having wasted my lifetime's earnings, yes same old rant, same me me, I just can't see a way forward, no confidence, lots of anxiety, bad sleep if any, no enthuisiam for anything, back home after work which is a major struggle to get through, lie on the settee all night, speak to no-one except on chat, this is how an ex-gamblers life end's up.
Hi Paul , Sorry in one way but happy for you in another , weve had many many discussions leading up to this as your well aware but whatever anyone say's to you at the time you have to go through the pain before you can begin to climb out of the hole you now find yourself in . I did exactly the same as you and it took me many years of chasing losses before I was ready to admit gambling had beat me and like yourself I wouldn't have listened to anyone either until I was ready , so your not alone my friend , it's not going to make any sense to you at the moment but you'll have to go through a sort of greiving proccess before things improve and they will improve , once that gambling mist has cleared a bit and your not having a constant battle with yourself about gambling you'll be able to start fathoming things out and start making some life changing decisions , I've already said that where not that far apart in terms of age , but in this last year I've acomplished things that 12 months ago I wouldn't have dreamed possible , things do get better , I know you wont believe me but you start focusing on all the important things instead of being so wrapped up with money , I wont have that great retirement that I thought I would have had but I'm not dwelling on that fact because there's no point , I have to settle for less and accept it fully all I do know is that without gambling in my life , the worlds a much better place to live in .
I know your going to say to me but , but you don't understand and it's like this and like that but you have to accept what is and move on , stopping gambling will make you focus better on what you have to do , you'll sleep better and when you do then you'll handle the day better and be able to make better decisions , don't tell me it's all over because it's not , it's just going to be different that's all and that's what you now have to get used to making the best of what you have .
Positivity is the key here , the glass is half full , not half empty so suck it up and start looking forward to creating a new life , slight change of plans yes but a new life none the less , how you look at it is controlled by the way you think about it !!.
You know where I am Paul :))
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