JAMES P

I really agree, he has helped me and i got my husband who is a gambler to look on here and he cried when reading some of what he had wrote. He also felt better for reading it and now knows he is not alone as he has become quite a loner through the gambling and lies . We have a long journey (together hopefully ) we know but it is good to hear from others in same situations and not to feel like your going mad.

Thank you jamesp and good luck to you all .

I couldn't agree more. The guy is a legend. Not only that, he is always kind, polite and fair without being condemning or judgemental. His writing and posts have helped me more than I thought possible - it gives me hope not only for recovery but it makes me believe that there are truly good and decent people in the world. The amount of time he puts into helping others, and the heart and kindness he puts into his words are a lesson to us all. Thank you JamesP from the bottom of my heart. I agree this website wouldn't be the same without you.

James may I ask a few question that may help.

You gave up 4 years ago did you have any realapses

How long after you gave up was it before you had a normal day without thoughts of betting.

Lastly James do you ever think now of having a bet, its only been four months for me so far,its the first time I have attempted to give up, but still find myself thinking about it somtimes.

Mike

Hi Mike, thank you so much for your extremely kind gesture of thanking me - it makes all the hours I put in to this site worth it and is very much appreciated.

I had many relapses before those four years but none during.

With regards to what you said about having a normal day, I think for me that it was always there for quite a while, maybe six or seven months but it gradually lessens to the point where it feels quite alien to actually go and place a bet and taking part in anything to do with gambling - the mistake I made previously was that I still went into the bookies at lunchtime, still read the Horse Racing, still visited gambling-related sites; I thought I was making things easier by doing this, kind of confronting my demons as it were but I couldn't have been more wrong. It is almost essential that this be avoided as much as possible and then, as I said, it is much easier to reach that stage where the thought of spending money on gambling is quite odd - one of the best ways I could describe it is like leaving a company and joining another one; you work eight hours a day, 40 hours a week with the same people, same atmosphere, same trials and tribulations of everyday working life. It would feel very odd to go back there and that is similar as to how I feel about

gambling now.

As of this moment, I do think of gambling at times but also feel there is nothing within me that would ever want to place a bet again. A lot of people ask me why and how, what is the biggest prevention etc - for me, the pain of relapse is worse than losing all the money I had, worse than anything else. When you have worked and tried so hard to regain financial stability and the love and trust of those around you, there is nothing, and I mean nothing worse than seeing that all go to pot again and that puts me off like nothing else.

The key is that recovery is different for everyone - different timescales, different feelings and levels of personal problems and strength. This is why I feel that it is very important not to give people timescales or promises etc - the only thing I can guarantee is that you will feel much less likely to gamble over time - for some, it can be a few weeks or months, others, it can be longer. It really depends on the person but it always happens, it really does. Sometimes, I don't think it is wise either to actually count the days because the pressure to reach certain goals can make things hard going at times.

Thanks again, it means a great deal what your good self and others have said on this thread, a thousand thank you's to all.

JamesP

Totally Agree - I had a fantastic reply from James on my first post. Cheers.

I can,t thank you enough James

I would just like to add my personal thanks to james P,your wise words and comments are priceless,you've given me direction,belief and a greater understanding of this addiction. Many thanks.

No-one I know, family, friends, offered as much kindness, support and advice as JamesP. I came on here expecting a barrage of abuse and got positivity, support, understanding and a reason to wake up the next day. I haven't gambled since receiving his advice and words can't express my grattitude. The amount of hours he spends on here a week, purely just to help people, is something we should all be very grateful for and the world is a better place for people like him.

Funny this post because I was going to start an exact same one.

Without a doubt reading all the posts lately, one name always pops up and thats James P.

He helps out anyone and everyone, thanks James for all your encouragement and advice.

I would like to echo everyones sentiments about James P when i first joined just over a week ago his reply made me cry.

beautifully written and full of kindness

Thankyou James P your words gave me the strengh to beleive i can do this.x

I have to say, James P has certainly made me feel comfortable in writing on the forum. It's been a great help.

Hoping to be accessing this site for a long time, myself and Charlie are just starting our journey to recovery and we want to share it!!!!!!

Thanks

XX

James, just wanted to say a thank you but words just aren't enough. You spoke to my husband in the most kindest, supportive fashion when all he was expecting was condemnation. He had never admitted he had a problem before but you put it to him in such a heartfelt way, he spent a lot of time looking at himself. He has since sought help and has been without any sort of bet for about four months and doing wonderfully well, he is beginning to be the person I married again. You are an angel for helping people the way you do on here and you have not only helped my husband but in turn, you have helped our family too. God bless you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I agree with all the above. This week i posted my first post on New members intros, I got back the most detailed and thorough post from James P. He made me realise there are great people out there, and he is definately one of them.

An absolute legend on this site by the looks of it!

Have made some progress James P recently and a lot of that is down to your kind words and helpful, selfless advice. I will carry on, I will re-read your posts and take more resolve from them. I don't think you realise quite what you do James, this world needs more people like you........