Hello. My name is shaun I'm 23 years old. I've been gambling for about 5months and have spent over 8k and am in 3k in debt. Everytime I win I say I'm going to stop. Then I say I'll do 1 more and I'll leave. Then I end up losing and I chase losses. I ended up stealing from my mother. Put her in debt aswell. And I always find a way to fund my habit. Pay day loans. Overdrafts. Salary. Or my mom. I want to stop so God d**n badly. But I keep doing 1 more bet. And when I'm cleaned and have nothing all I can think about is suicide. I was a ex heroin addict and overcame thst addiction and started this new one just a few months ago. I got cleaned again 30mins ago which was money I took from my mom. I feel even worse losing her money because I know she doesn't have any. I don't think I can live like this anymore. And I don't think I'll be around much longer. I want to die and never wake up. Every night I sleep I pray to god I don't wake up. But I always do. And I don't know why. Its my choice I don't want to live just let me die God d**n it. I'll never be happy. I love you mom so frickin much. I'm so sorry I let you all down I need help I know I do. But it's just so hard. Love you mom and dad.
There seems to be a lot of similarities between both our stories.
Just keep thinking things will get better. Speaking from experience of trying to get over it on my own, it wont happen. You need people you care about the most around you
Tell your mom everything. Let them help you, in whatever way they can. No matter how embarrassing! Its a hard talk, and its a long road but one that can be done!
I went 5 months roulette free! And messed up this morning by wasting all my wages and savings. 2500 lost in half an hour. Told my girlfriend and mother straight away.
You will have both good and bad days.
Keep talking on here and youll feel better in time. In the long run itll all be worth it.
Can talk anytime! Matt
Dear GamblingShaun,
really sorry to hear that you are feeling so low and suicidal at the moment. I appreciate that things are challenging at the moment, and that you feel distrought over losing all that money and taking money from your mom.
However, there is a way to resolve this and move forward in a positive way. When you are ready and feel able to talk, please get in touch with us on the Helpline on 0808 8020 133 or the Netline here.
Please also speak to your GP and/or the Samaritans on 116 123.
Please don't feel like suicide is your only option, and that you are alone with this. There are people who care. We care.
Keep posting.
All the best,
Eva
Forum Admin
Hi Shaun,
You are still young and have time in your side to turn things around. Sounds like you have a great family around you, and will support you. You are going through a bad time but you will get through it, and in fact this period will make you stronger when you have other challenges in life. Remember nothing lasts for ever and this habit will if you seek the right help. You are not alone and you will see others on the site have been and going through what you are, me included. This is a evil illness but can be beaten. All these best Shaun
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
