Last day I gamble

It really sounds like you are a compulsive gambler alright, the key to it is, as you have mentioned, we cannot actually win as we cannot stop. If we do win and withdraw its not long befoer we are back depositing it and gambling again. To help battle this you will need some support, get to your nearest GA meeting, have an open mind and be completely truthful. You also need to tell your wife, she has a right to know, as she is living with a compulsive gambler which can be very destructive to families. My partner ended up being my greatest source of support. Best of luck with it

Hi,

First thing to do is to come clean to your wife. No more dirty gambling secrets. I thought Mrs Bal would stab me, divorce me, whatever. But she didnt and has stood by me. However honesty and transparency has been the key.

I have never been an online gambler but i am aware of various products which block access to gambling sites via laptop, smartphones etc.

Best wishes

Hi There,

Your story is pretty familiar but you have managed to identify and address the issue before creating any debt and (hopefully) before too much damage is caused.

I would agree with Bal, telling your wife is very important, it creates a block, allows you to talk about it and also you may be surprised how supportive she is. That aside, she may already be aware of your gambling but didn't want to bring it up or, as is common, know something's up but not know what (or assume you're having an affair!).

Close all your online accounts now and install some blocking software. Like a hangover, the pain from a big loss will fade and the 'it isn't so bad' feeling will creep back in which is dangerous. Use this motivation you have to make as much progress in giving up as you can.

As it happens, my very last bet (14.09.17) was on Fruit Warp, I lost £500 on 50p/£1 stake. BUT (and this is something I've come to realise), the game, the size of the loss (or win!), whether you got a 'good play', the fact the you got 6 Pitayas and lost staight away...it's all irrelevant. Losses create the financial issue that wins don't fix (as the money will go back), the money is totally irrelevant and merely a side effect of the problem.

Sorry if I've rambled, I didn't want to come across as preachy but was really keen to share my experiences as this is, to date, my longest run of absinence in about 15 years of gambling.

Good luck!

P

Thank you Joe, Bal and Phil

Yes, I probably should tell my wife. I also could give her financial control that way.

I would attend an GA but I live abroad so it's not as easy.

I think this will help me enough. Hearing other stories and knowing I'm not alone is good.

Phil you summed it up with the fruit warp scenario. It's true that losing is the only thing that happens. That time when the Pattaya comes in and crashes out straight away is sickening but then in the long run even if the Pattayas get to the end at a mammoth 30x and you see mega win...it's still going to eventually be a loss

I was trying to get to a point where I was satisfied that I at least scrapped some back and I did this quite a few times (the 80p stake winning over 2k) bit this still wasn't enough in the end.

I am saying this now on my first half day of saying I'm out. I have self excluded form all (I think) and really will struggle to deposit again now.

I now have a slightly different view but I know it's not easy to keep this view in the long run

Thanks again and I will update

Wes,

How's it going? Staying away from that bloomin' Warp?

You're spot on with the "eventually it will be a loss", it will be. One day I got a huge win (whilst at work!) by getting to the top on Steam Tower (I'm only referencing the games as I know you'll relate to me) and, by the time I went to bed that night, the money was gone again through reversals. However, even if I'd resisted reversing that withdrawal, I would have gone back the next day, and the next until I was back in the red. It makes you realise how futile it is!

I could really relate to the 'trying to get something back' mentality. Hunting that half-decent win that you can 'sack it' with, but, if you're anything like me, you don't. You get half your balance back so you think "I'll have a few more spins" and the cycle repeats to the inevitable.

Again, I'm not preaching, it's just amazing how many times I repeated the same pattern over and over again before I got the message that winning is irrelevant (and, ultimately, impossible). I hope you managed to figure it out quicker than I did.

All the best

Phil

Hi Phil

I am resisting so far. Thanks.

It's great to hear what you say as I really do relate. I have had a few of those top of steam tower and even after getting to the top I play on, on Steam tower because I think it's playing well (sometimes it works though :))

Yes, I hope this stays with me. The wins (unless I hit like a miracle 1million jackpot) are never enough to me anymore and will always be lost chasing. I will also never hit a 1m jackpot as I rarely play these slots.

Thanks for your help.

I will keep updating

Hi Wes,

Hope you're still managing to stay away.

I read your comments with interest, paticularly the bit about the 'miracle £1m Jackpot'. I always thought about that, the progressive jackpots etc. The thing is that, if you're a gambler, I genuinely believe that a big winfall would just lead to bigger stakes. Yes, you could be sensible, buy a big house, invest some etc. but if you still have that addicition then it will still want to be fed (investments can be cashed in and houses remortgaged!).

Look at some of the Premier League footballers who have lost the lot through gambling, a tenner in a fruit machine or £10k on a hand of blackjack, the problem's the same, it's just the stakes that are different.

I've got a mate with a gambling problem (although he won't admit it...yet). He plays fruit machines in pubs (badly) and always says "It wouldn't be an issue if I was like you and earned £x a week". I have tried to explain that money is irrelevant as, eventually, you will get to a stage where you are spending everything you earn (and more). A gambler will always be broke whether they are on £10k or £100k.

Anyway, I'm rambling! Keep posting and good luck

Phil

Thanks Phil,

Yes I also look forward to your replies. You have a clear way of seeing it and have put things into perspective for me.

The money is irrelevant. The losses and wins only get bigger so I see your point on the jackpot. I do believe that I would be sensible with it but of course, with all that free cash and the fact that this miracle happened, it would be likely that I would still continue.

I have stayed clean. Clean seems like the wrong word but I need to think of it this way.

I have thoughts about it but I am currently unable to anyway so not even getting past the initial thought

Will keep updating

'Clean' is the work I use, I think most people use GF (i.e Gamble Free) but using acronyms always makes me feel a bit like I'm posting on Mumsnet...and that would never do.

I'm really pleased to hear that you're steering clear. Don't worry about the thoughts and urges, these will never completely go away but they will become fewer and further between. Remember, they are just that, thoughts, they can be ignored and not acted upto (sounds obvious but actually quite powerful).

I, like you, would like to think that a big win would spell and end to this gambling lark but I'm doubtful, besides, what are the chances of ever finding out?

Out of interest, what are you 'doing' to help yourself to keep away? Blocks? Telling people? Watching Streamers (a bit of a controversial one that one)? Cancelling bank cards etc?

Good luck and keep it up

Phil

hi just to add to what the previous posters have said it is good to try and replace the buzz you get from gambling with something else maybe exercise or some other activity to get enjoyment and give you the buzz you are missing from not gambling.

Thanks both,

At the moment I'm just busy on a mini holiday with my wife and 2 kids and living with her family. In this situation I'm not getting any free time so I'm just not having the chance.

I have installed a few new games on phone to divert me (which only lasts a while) and I'm also getting back into photography (I do this occasionally and it's also quite brief).

When I get back to normal life I will look at doing some work training too.

I did watch the streamers before but recently unsubscribed to them. I hear it works for some but to me this only makes me worse. There is no way I can watch someone else hit big and not feel gutted and desperate to try myself

Cheers