Hi All,
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Needed to write down my feelings and hopefully build from here im married with  a young son I’ve always gambled since I was 15 I was bullied badly in school so used it as my way out I’ve continued this in to my later life (nearly 50) in dec 2019 my wife ran off with someone and left me and my son my gambling spiralled out of all proportions and was numbing me for long time, my son then got suspended from school at least 30 times in a year me and my wife then managed to talk and she came home my son was over the moon and it put my mind at ease for his welfare, I have carried on gambling without anyone knowing and just hate my life at moment not in any debt as yet but could get there have gambled today but today I want to draw a line again and give myself a chance anyway enough from me will report back in tomorrow thanks for listening ?.
bearÂ
(@bear55) have you ever tried to find why you gamble?
i seen words like bulling that's most common Triger in my life to loose my self so i don't feel anything.
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hi think bullying was my trigger had a lot of CBT therapy to come to terms with the bullying I think nowadays my mere existence without gambling seems boring which is so sad and I want this to change it’s my first day today slept 5% better last night it’s a new start again for me but have put all blocks in place just have to find my inner self which won’t be easy …
@bear55 somewhere like 3years ago I created my bussines name, that was the way to stop gamble than. I said to my self gambling is taking money from me and my personality, but this will give to me all back. I stopped gambling for quiet long time in my own initiative. But sadly It did came back to me. Recently when I was fighting with feeling to live or die I believe I managed to reset my life and open new page. From the day one I was looking where the triggers comes from in writing all my fallings in the day. From November the 1 in the first 3 weeks I found 3 potential triggers. I made a plan to stop them coming to me and since than I did not had any ademption to gamble. In my case gamble was the way out of problem. In hiding something else in my self that I shamed of. I never played to win in the next 4 years I was playing to hurt my self couse there was people making me to feel pointless person.
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