Losing hope

Thank you for sharing your story with our forum 

I'm extremely sorry to hear that gambling is causing you distress. I'm glad that you are attending a group and getting support from a counsellor but you can always get support from one of our advisors at our helpline. We are open 24/7 so please get in contact with us at 08088020133.

You might also like to consider registering with Gamban, the blocking software we work in partnership with under the talk ban stop campaign. Gamban provides comprehensive coverage from gambling sites including sites related to financial markets and trading. 

Thank you again for reaching out to us.

Forum Admin

Hi. Sorry to hear this is happening to you, but you mustn't lose hope.  Recovery is hard, but it is possible.  Keep taking it a day at a time.  Sounds like you managed 3 weeks, you can build on that again a day at a time!   Reach out to people when you are struggling (people you know or your groups), it's hard to go it alone but you don't have to be alone.  Sounds like your wife is still there, is she someone you could chat to when you feel like you are losing control?  

Posted by: @4mslnxkra9

↑

 

My addiction started with trying to trade financial markets, things like futures, spread betting, cfd and other things like it Like everyone, I lost big.i had some periods of making money regularly, but doesn't last.

I have runs of 3 weeks or so where nothing happens. I dont do anything. Then it's like I lose all control and can't think. Today I added several thousand to the pile of debt.

 

It's not supposed to last

These Financial markets are rigged with promises of exponential wealth for those that take risks, everyone wants to be the next Warren Buffet or Michael Burry 

But in reality its only ever the big boys to clean up , sometimes retail day traders can get lucky on the right side of the coin but generally the big players have algorithms which are intentionally betting against human day traders 

So doesn't matter what position you take eventually it will bleed you out and whip you into that tailspin frenzy of chasing your losses which is what has happened here 

Just like online casinos do , apart from trading is probably worse because the day trader is often the last person to be able to get out of their position often with a huge loss way beyond was was anticipated in either direction 

The institutions and hedges have a lot more underhanded tactics than that but I'd be here all day talking about it.

Posted by: @4mslnxkra9

↑

Hello everyone,

 

I want to tell my story to someone. I attend a group as well but this is getting me really down.

My addiction started with trying to trade financial markets, things like futures, spread betting, cfd and other things like it. Like everyone, I lost big.i had some periods of making money regularly, but doesn't last. I'm in debt, and have borrowed money from parents and even in laws and lost that.

I have runs of 3 weeks or so where nothing happens. I dont do anything. Then it's like I lose all control and can't think. Today I added several thousand to the pile of debt.

I am now in real danger of losing my wife, my kids and everything in life that would make it any good because of this. I can't afford any more losses, either in money or in anything else. I don't know how to get the strength to stop and am at my wits end.

I am on meds and having counselling as well as group but this is like killing me slowly.

 

Hey, how are you holding up?

Im on day 1 today and know I have a long road ahead. Thought it would be good to try and support people that are in a similar current position as me. 

Hope to hear back from you.

Em

It's not been great tbh. Trying to go one day at a time. I found myself drifting into the mindset that if I could just get some seed money together I can go again and it'll be different. Obviously it won't. Problem is this is a weird and crazy thought. 

I am up for any support. its all about mutual support and re engaging with recovery everyday. That's what worked in the past and this is all I can do.

@4mslnxkra9 

I totally get it. My partner got me a loan to help with more immediate debts and I had the audacity to start gambling it on Friday night - well into Saturday. It’s always that prospect of the ‘big win’. But I’ve had those and I don’t even usually get to the stage of withdrawal. I just just keep playing it until it’s all gone.

I’ll keep checking in on you. 

Em

I am trying to build people around me that 'get it'. When I try to explain what its like in the grip of wanting to bet to anyone who has not been through it, I can  ever explain. 

If you want we can act as a.sounding board and support for each other on here. 

I start my days now by writing down that I can't control gambling, betting or even things only marginally related. It will always overpower me. That has helped for a few days. I still have to go back and re read it through the day. Saying it out loud would also help.

@4mslnxkra9 

I’d be happy to support and have support from as many people as possible. This time around I am completely determined to stop gambling. I too have never been in control of it. It’s who I am as a person and whilst I envy people that can gamble ‘healthily’, I just have to face that I am not one of those people. 

im staying close to this site as only the memory of what will happen if I gamble is likely to stop me from gambling. So, as I feel stronger, I’ll be writing my feelings and memories on my diary every day to deter me if/ when an urge comes through. None of the blocks work for me. Only I can do this, and for me to do this, I really have to want it… Which I do 

Day 3 - Today I will not gamble 💪

Its been an intense day. I've manage to stay sensible but it took effort, and trying hard to distract myself. I am constantly worried about losing this fight, slipping up and ending up in a catastrophe.

Like you EmI found blocks are not a stop, but they buy time, time when I hopefully come to see sense. I can take blocks off, but it slows me down, and I now use 3 different blocks on my phone, so it will take more than a fleeting weakness to remove them.

@4mslnxkra9 sounds good Mi!

can I ask what the blocks are… I’m struggling with urges too but well done to us both for staying strong this far 💪

It has to stop, time to break the cycle. We have to choose happiness over madness.

keep up the good fight.

Em x

There is an app on android called BlockApp, which you can set so it stops you uninstalling it