Losing hope

Hello everyone,

I want to tell my story to someone. I attend a group as well but this is getting me really down.

My addiction started with trying to trade financial markets, things like futures, spread betting, cfd and other things like it. Like everyone, I lost big.i had some periods of making money regularly, but doesn't last. I'm in debt, and have borrowed money from parents and even in laws and lost that.

I have runs of 3 weeks or so where nothing happens. I dont do anything. Then it's like I lose all control and can't think. Today I added several thousand to the pile of debt.

I am now in real danger of losing my wife, my kids and everything in life that would make it any good because of this. I can't afford any more losses, either in money or in anything else. I don't know how to get the strength to stop and am at my wits end.

I am on meds and having counselling as well as group but this is like killing me slowly.