me, online slots idiot, started on bingo sites 9 years ago, I loveeeeeeeeeee it so much, but I HATE myself after, is this normal? only play the bingo/cinco etc to fund the slots, have had many big wins (one of 20k from a 2 quid bet) cannot make myself withdraw anymore,even if i have won 10x stake play it through til its all gone then throw more at it until i feel physically sick. I only earn about 250 a week but can throw 500 in a DAY at it sometimes? I am not stupid, why do I behave like an idiot???????????
Hi
Its because you are having a love hate relationship with a machine and you are in the grip of a full blown gambling addiction.
What you have been doing cant be rationalised in a normal sense because you have been playing for highs emotions and escape. You think you love it because your mind is seeking dopamine highs. In reality you are playing away all your essential money to get those temporary highs.
Unfortunately anything youve had back has just reinforced your mind neurons that your on a lucky clover spree and it happens all the time and when you want it to. It doesnt and never does when you want it to. Nearly all gamblers end up in the desperation and hopelessness stages of gambling before final ruin.
It isnt an income scheme. It leaves people in the gutter when they keep playing and thats putting it mildly
You hate yourself afterwards because thats when reality sinks in . Thats when you realise that what you have been doing in the previous hours is a total form of mind control and youve no money left to buy food
Please ring gamcare as many times as you like because a one to one voice is extremely helpful.
You will learn all about gambling addiction if you stay on the forum. You will learn what you have to do to save any quality of life you have. You will have to reach out for all the help on offer and you must talk to people close about your addiction
Being gamble free is a lovely feeling and I hope you will join us.
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
thank you x I have had betfilter for past few years, I find sneaky ways around it, or I use hubbys comp, i ban and limit, but i open new accounts, or i make others open accounts so i can use them, if i am desperate for a fix i will find a way, any way, to throw away my money, today i have joined this, contacted a hypnotherapist and tried to get free counselling from gamcare, I need serious help, even reading your replies choked me up, I dont steal (yet) but i lie and I disgust myself with my dirty secret
I do wish you all the best. You need that eureka moment and you literally have to open up to all your close family that you need help to control things. There is no shame in admitting that gambling got to you
You now need to be living on a sandwich allowance and the people close need to know how dangerous an addiction is.
Its sometimes takes time but I feel you are at stage one of the confusion where you arent able to and dont want to stop yet because the controlling part of your mind wants that fix. Im not sure if you are fully aware of the danger and the illness that addiction is
It took me 10 months so please dont make the same mistake because I lost a couple of thousand in that time and thats a heck of a lot for me to have thrown away
You will get there...... it takes learning, counselling and all the help you can get. Secrets are no good and they will eat you up inside. You have to shut down all routes and anyone that lets you use a computer or opens an account for you is actually helping to destroy you so they probably dont realise the damage it causes.
I promise you that one day you will get to a stage where you wonder why you ever did it. You will feel serene and have a healthy mind back.
You must start the process of recovery to get there. I cant stress enough thet gambling will bankrupt you and far far worse.
Take care and all the best
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