Back here again, first time in a while. Thought I had things back under control but I have binged again and lost a fair chunk of money. Feel very low today, embarrassed at my actions. Hurt my family financially at a time when they need me most. Plus the mid trust side doing this behind my wife’s back. The debt I am in is weighing me down even though in the last 6 months it’s going down this one it still reminds me of my actions. My addiction is now mainly around online gaming and roulette. I turn to it when I’m stressed, lose my money then feel nothing but regret. I just don’t know if I will ever beat this, don’t feel strong enough mentally. Anyway I’m going to try again so this is day 1. Accounts closed, calling gam care to try and arrange councilling as I have never tried this.
Hello Fringe31
First I would like to say well done for posting and contacting the helpline for some counselling. It's good to know you feel you can come back to the forum when you need some support.
You have experienced a relapse which is quite common but it doesn't mean that you have failed. It is quite an unpleasnt experience and I can hear that you are feeling low embarassed and upset that you have affected your family finances.
Try to concentrate now on rebuilding the trust between you and your partner. You can use the diary section to help you stay on track http://www.gamcare.org.uk/forums/recovery-diaries or join one of the challenge groups to keep you focused and help avoid any further gambling. http://www.gamcare.org.uk/forum/easter-challenge
You also mentioned closing your online account but have you considered using a blocking software for your online devices http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/what-can-you-do/blocking-software#.VCA52fldXww
Keep posting and stay in touch
Kind regards
Cade
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