About a fortnight a go I went on holliday for a week, when i returned home I was given the news from my girlfriend that things werent working and basically our relationship came to an end, this broke my heart and prompted me to change, gambling has been an issue in my life for a while now and became an obsession, it ruled my life!
The times when our relationship was a struggle I knew was because how gambling had affected me that day i.e a negative mood, on my phone looking at things because i was been over powered by it and the addiction that lies within, i could never bring myself to tell her how much it affected me for fear of losing her, I tried time and time again to overcome it on my own because I knew i had to but ultimately i was fighting a losing battle.
On the night our relationship ended I felt id lost everyting that was good in my life and it hit me hard but deep down i knew I couldnt carry on and I had to change, I broke down in floods of tears to her admitting my problem and how much it was affecting me but it was too late, I had to go away and reach out for help, I told some close friends what I was going through and how I my addiction had caused me so much heartache, they were great and are continueing to support me, I have gone 2 weeks without a bet now and can feel the benefits, after the first few days of not betting I felt great and felt so different, the last week or so has been more of a test and ive had to be really strong as in the last few days the overiding feeling of wanting to have a bet has been there but I have stayed strong and got through it and now im 14 days without having a bet.
I wish I could of done this years ago but its easy looking from the outside in as when your gambling it feels like your trapped inside a viscious circle and until you make the move for help you dont realise how different things can be.
All i want now is to be free of gambling and most importantly of all my girlfriend back!
Well done on your two weeks . It’s a tricky one but you are probably the first to admit that you are a better person now than who you were when gambling . I hated the person I became and after being gamble free for close on 100 days everyone around me can see the difference but most importantly me I was fortunate to not lose my wife or kids despite what I did and I wouldn’t have been surprised had they not stuck around . With your situation firstly be focussed on you . Good things do happen once you decide to change yourself . If you are past the point of no return with your relationship then it’s easy to go back to gambling and use stress as an excuse and you are back in the same rut and cycle . So my advice at this point is to keep gamble free , be positive about yourself and others around you and good things will happen. You would not be distant with people or will you need to keep lying about things . Read this forum and people’s stories , I personally found the support on here invaluable
Thankyou for the comment Bryan, well done on nearly a 100 days, what a fantastic achievement! I hope to one day reach the same. Which part did you find the hardest? Was it the initial start and does it get easier? As I’m just new to this site do you just suggest I keep posting on here and reading other peoples stories?
I think it’s different for each person everyone has their own threshold with this .Apologies if I repeat myself on other threads but there in my mind a few stages . Where you are at now is the first stage . You must put the blocks in place , hand over control of your money . Self exclude . That stops the gambling because it’s not available to you . Now that’s all well and good but the moment you get any access to money back or an exclusion finishes you are still the same person who will likely gamble at the earliest opportunity. The next stage and I think I’m there is actually trying to re programme your mind to become a non gambler . It’s finding better things to do with your time to break the previous cycle . Join a gym , read , get a hobby , do what normal people do. Then there is a disbelief and euphoria when you get to one pay day then the next and realise that you can have a normal life , treats , clear any debt . Sleep well at night , don’t have to lie , everything gets better . All this puts more distance from you and your gambling and that is my mental block . Should I get money in my pocket or access to money like I do now, it becomes habit not to gamble like it was normal to do it before . Finally, there is the next stage which is looking ahead , having dreams that were previously just that but now they are possible . Holidays, moving house , yeah they are material and matter but more than that is working on liking yourself and others will too. That’s how I see it and by starting a diary on here you become plugged into the whole mindset of stopping . It works for me and I’m sure lots of other people . Hope that kind of explains a bit to you
Haven’t managed to update my profile for a while as been very busy working and one thing and another but managed to find the time now to update my page to 74 days gambling free 🙂
Did I once think I could get this far with no hiccups - probably not as just getting through some days was tough but with little individual goals and having had 8 counselling sessions I feel like a whole new me 🙂
74 days is only a small number compared to some people and I only have admiration not just for the people who are well into 3 figures for days gambling free but also the people who are just beginning there journey away from gambling.
I can honestly say that I didn’t know how much gambling affected me until I have stopped, I have found self confidence I didn’t know I had, I’ve socialised more with friends, I feel clued on at work when I’m doing or asked to do a job Im not wondering what the price of the favourite is in the 3:10 at Ascot. I actually want to do things that I would find a chor or drag my heels about doing and when I’m out and about I’m enjoying the day without worrying about how much I’ve lost or how I can get that tenner back I lost.
The benefits have been overwhelming and I can’t thank the people on here enough for there kind words of encouragement and advice that I’ve taken in along the way, the counselling I received was so helpful too and all that gets me to where I am today, I don’t get thoughts to gamble now and if I do they just fade away, I even had a day at the races with friends and I just didn’t have a bet and it was the most I’d enjoyed it in ages because I wasn’t battling my demons and therefor was just enjoying the day for what it was and to top it all off I am now happily back with my girlfriend who I lost through my gambling so it just shows that with some hard work, courage and belief you can achieve your goals, some of which I never thought would be possible and then create a whole new better life for yourself away from gambling.
Keep believing everyone 🙂
Gambling free is the future
Hi all new here I was in shock yesterday to what I became, got hooked to online casino and lost nearly £500 on roulette which is way out of my willpower to even think of spending on anything else but why do I do this to myself? I took the first step today of registering on Gamstop and also got gamban on my phone to prevent myself ever getting like that it’s been the first day today and I’m hoping I can do this!
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