Making the first move

I have just signed up today and have just had a read of your intro... I can totally get the point your trying to put across and am currently suffering from mild depression and i believe it is solely because of gambling. So as we both start out on this journey i just want to wish you good luck and hope that i can help you along the way!

Hi. I know exactly where your coming from. I am new to this. I have the same problem. Mine was playing bingo and the slots. I am now £6000 in debt, most of it belongs to my mum. I kept going into payday loan shops over and over again just for me to gamble at Bingo. It has taken me 2 years to realise I have a problem. I have made the first step already by cutting my bingo card up and I am going to put a ban for myself from going. I had an electric bill which was over £1000. I felt so suicidal. My husband has been a rock to me. He has been really supportive. I have made my mum ill over this.

"Making the first move" a very interesting thread title! How much these words mean. I do hope you feel the same. It's very important to feel these words not just think they are right.

I have felt them after many attempts, at fooling myself I believed them. I never really believed them, because my subconscious mind was fooling me. Just my conscious mind was approving/beliving them.

Great start I wish you recover shortly. I know in my case my recovery will be long, but trying to make the best out of it, and not see it as a painful thing any longer.

Lots of money lost in hundreds of thoussands, relationships opportunities, and what not.

God bless u and help get over your gambling demons.

Hugs

Thank you all for your kind words it has been very encouraging . my husband works away and I find it very lonely . I just hope now that I have made this move I can get back to my life the way it used to be . I hope you all find the strength to pull throuh this ,we can all help each other

Earlier today i rang to close my onlie account and ban myself forever , this is a positive first move and made an appointment to see my Doctor for my depression . good luck to you all stay strong .

Well done - baby steps and all that! Does your hubby know about your gambling? I am trying to come up with ways to stop going into casinos but especially bookies. I know its possible to self exclude but to me there is just too many within a short distance to my home and work. I want to get myself out the habit altogether.. Does that make sense ??

Hi turbine - As others have said, well done in joining this site and seeking help. Like you, I became addicted to online slots as a way of relaxation (some joke!) and also from a bit of loneliness in the evenings. Thankfully I did not get into enormous debt but realised that I was wasting precious time in front of a computer, not getting enough sleep, and living on an overdraft each month. I do believe that your depression will start to lift once you have got even a few days clear of gambling under your belt. Hopefully you will start to sleep and eat better, get more fresh air etc. and this will all help with your general well-being. You can do this!

Just a quick word for 'cryforhelp' too: getting yourself out of the habit can be done although as you will read from other posts it isn't all plain sailing. We have to re-train our brains and find personal strategies that work for us. For me, I visualize all those fat cats in the gambling industry, enjoying the millionaire lifestyle - on the money I have handed to them! Also, whenever you pass a betting shop - just take a look through the window at their customers - see any well-dressed happy people with fancy cars waiting outside? No? Because as so many will tell you on this site: "You cannot win because you cannot stop."

Best wishes to you both.

Joanna

Hi Turbine,

Welcome to the forum, and thanks for posting here.

I think I’ll commend you for taking the necessary steps that allowed you to open up to your family about your gambling addiction. Much as it was hard for you to disclose the truth of the matter to your family, you’ve got more to gain from doing so than staying with your addiction problem. They can support you better now that you’ve made them aware of it, and it makes it less stressful for you to discuss how you’re feeling about your gambling problem. By being honest to yourself and family, you tend to get their support and encouragement in addition to the professional help and support that you’ll be provided by Gamcare.

It’s good your husband tried to stop you from further gambling when he placed a lock on the computer, but obviously, you were able to find other ways of accessing the gambling sites, which got you into deeper debts.

Perhaps it would be more useful to you if both of you can research on the following internet blocking software, and install the one that you think is most likely to benefit your circumstances. They are Gamblock, Net Nanny and Betfilter.

You might also like to contact our free phone helpline for a 1 t0 1 support with one of our specially trained advisers on 0808 8020 133

We’re open everyday from 8.00am to 12.00midnight.

Thanks again for using our forum, and please keep posting whenever possible.

Take care,

Beatrice.

Hi turbine, wow I came on here recently and reading your message is like a mirror image of myself except I dont have a husband. But when I look at my daughter I feel so ashamed of myself! Luckily she has a good father who gives her what she needs money wise. It really is the feel good factor when you play bingo and slots and as hard as it is we need to find other things that make us feel good about ourselves. Going to your doctor is a great move as antidepressants can help short term to lift your mood so that you can feel positive enough to make changes. I have handed over all my income to a very close friend so that I cannot waste any more money and I feel very lucky to have support from my family and friend. However fighting the feeling of compulsion and needing a quick fix is the hardest thing. I am waiting for an appointment with Options Counselling and after talking with them feel hopeful that i can change for good. So maybe it could help you too. Talking to somebody neutral can be a massive relief and help you make sense of your feelings. There is also gamblock which costs to use but blocks out all gambling sites even on smart phones and tablets. You would spend that money in an hour so Im definately buying it. Please dont despair as you can get through this with help. Much love.

Hi Turbine, today is my first day too and I can relate so much to what you have said. I'd keep saying to myself ..."just one more" ... but it wouldn't be £1 it would be £50 or £100!!

Good luck on your journey ... I know it won't be easy as I myself am thinking all negative thoughts already and my last bet was only 10 hours ago. Hopefully with the support from everyone on this forum we'll get through it ... one day at a time.

Best wishes

Hi , Well this is day two not slept much , but my husband and I talked a lot and cried a lot too but this has been a tough couple of days but I do feel that I am making progress . My husband has been fantastic I am really lucky to have such a good man i have caused him so much pain and Im ashamed of myself , but with his love and support I am sure I will kick this addiction.

We started today with me handing over my debit card to him so that he can monitor the account , he will give me money for day to day items as we pay all bills by direct debit so all I need is food . Little steps but big strides for me . I know its not going to be easy and at times it will be tough , but i want and need to win back my familys trust then i can feel better about myself. Its good to come on here and read the support messages and to know Im not alone . Thank you all for the kind words , speak soon.