Hi all. Ive posted this in the recovery diary section too as I intend on updating that every few days to try to inspire me to keep going. I thought I should share my post on this part of the forum too.
So this is my story. Pretty similar to everyone elses I would say. Im 26 and in the past 10 years Ive lost well over 10 grand, although I have no real clue how much. I started like most on the fruit machines and this graduated into bookies, casinos, online etc. Football, horses and (my personal biggest demons) roulette and blackjack.
Ive been bailed out by parents and my fiancee before but around this time last year Id got myself into a mess. 3 or 4 thousand in pay day loans, overdrafts etc. I swore that would be it. My fiancee bailed me out with our savings, I would never gamble again I promised. And I didnt for a while. I stopped on 1st June and didnt gamble once until the middle of Sept where I went to a stag do at the races. My fiancee knew about this and I was honest about what I spent. Then in feb I went on holiday and had a go on roulette, again I told my fiancee about this. Then came the national, I lost around £80 on this but told my fiancee £20.
Then its gradually got worse, I started having football bets again although only small ones (i won £120 off one of theser which didnt help matters). Then this weekend the inevitable happened. A friend tipped a horse. I put £40 on, it lost. Then I came home drunk from a party, before I knew it another £100 had gone on blacjack online and £40 on stupid bets for the euros.
I was so angry with myself this morning, for the first time in years I had no overdrafts, loans etc and was straight. Now I have a £250 overdraft again that Ive got to somehow keep from my fiancee until Ive paid it back. I know its not much, and it wont take too long to put back but its not the point. So this is it, Im determined to not crumble, she said I would go back to gambling if I didnt get help and I was determined to prove her wrong. Bloody women, always right! I know Im better than this, Im an intelligent person with a very well respected job, most people have no idea that I do such stupid things.
This is day 1. No gambling today. I will keep posting on here how its going and I WILL be honest. Nobody else may even read it, I dont care, I feel better just by having wrote it down. Then in a few months, when the money is back in my account and I have saved to get my brilliant fiancee a great present, I will show her this.
Hi Steve,
Well done for posting - that £250 overdraft could become much worse...
I started my first diary last week and have so far not gambled since (apart for some "free" cash an online casino "gave" me)
At 26, the next 10 years of your life are going to be VERY important. Please don't do what I have done over the last 3 years and constantly lose all your money playing silly games like Blackjack and Roulette.
Good luck!
Oh I know. Its happened a lot before. I had all silly thoughts this morning about getting a 12 month loan to pay it back (knowing full well the minumum loan you can get from a bank is £1000). But I know this will just add to the issue, I wont save the rest of the money, it will go one way or another. So the overdraft stays and then I'll pay as much off as I can each month, I think this is the best way.
Heres hoping
Duplicate post, sorry
hi mate,
dont worry you havent lost that much but you are still young and you have to be very careful from now on.8 years ago i started gambling and cant believe how much mess i made to my life now...20k debt and just 2 grands on a saving account i cant withdraw(thanks god)
i would highly suggest you to start GA meetings.i m 57 days bet free and keep going.
good luck mate, stay away from gambling
take care
mike
hey Steve. I have read your thread and mine is very similar. It's my first time and I am terrified of what to expect. I hate how gambling makes me feel and like you I dont gamble every day but when I do I cant stop. every time I lose big I swear to my family it wont happen again and then a few weeks later I'm back crying, feeling sick and not able to look anyone in the eye. I'm hoping that my talking to others I wont feel such a failure and hopefully I can get myself on the straight and narrow and start to have a happier life and not hate myself for deceiving those I love. Good luck to the both of us!
Hello wiganbabe and steve
Just one thing to say to both of you, One day at a time and you will be able to live with your illness understand that you cant have a bet ever! and pull things in place to help prevent this happening. You may feel you have hit rock bottom, but you are probably 10 levels above it, if you feel that bad now, imagine how sinking lower will feel, not nice I can assure yo, anway good luck and keep close to this forum,
John
Thanks John. I want so badly to overcome my gambling as it makes me feel so bad as a person and I hate lying to my husband about how much I have spent. I convince him that we have no money because of all he spends on shopping etc when deep down I know it is because of what I am spending each month. I hate feeling this way and in future if I get the urge to go on line I will make sure it is to this forum and not gambling sites. Thanks for your support.
Lets hope we both get to grips with it. I must say im enjoying being a part of this forum. The first thing i have done this morning is to check it, i really think it will help a lot. Going to treat myself to breakfast with the £2 i would have spent on tonights ***** in a minute 🙂
Hi Wiganbabe,
Just checking to see if you have been back here and at least for today been free from gambling?
John
Was just about to post the same John! Hope you have managed it Wiganbabe?
I have been fine today. The ironic thing with me at the moment is that I almost feel silly being on here as I am nowhere near at the point where I have been in the past (getting paid and losing £1600 in an hour on roulette in the bookies). Im so much more in control than that and many of the urges I used to have are no longer here. When I see other people stories mine probably looks pointless. But Im determined to stop forever and this weekend was a big wake up call. As much as Id like to im not capable of having a weekly football acuumulator for fun likes my friends do and I was kidding myself to think I could.
Hope you you are ok Wiganbabe, if not and you are reading then post and say what has happened today, it can do no harm.
I would strongly recommend registering with Gamstop if you haven’t already. Nip it in the bud, while you’re still hurting and you are able to put blocks in place. Otherwise that 250 could quite easily turn to 25k and more.
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