my first post, gambling is ruining my life!

Hi my friend, you have made a big step - you are right to be concerned - I started the same time as you but now I'm 34 and haven't quite kicked it - I'm only day 5 gamble free and could have had a few Ferraris by now if I hadn't gambled - it has wiped out my finances for 15 years.

get as much help as possible and remember you are in it for the long term and success will find you again in every part of life.

Don't chase losses is the most important thing - what's gone has gone - like the death of a loved one, it can't come back. Don't keep mourning the losses but live for the future.

Good luck
J

yh be brave man , 21 is a tender age and prob around time i got fixed , 10 years later the losses are excessive and think the figure irrevelant as everyone lives by there means and someone on 100k a year who is a CG couild be worse off then someone on 25k who dont gamble and can save £250 a month which is 3k saved a year , i echo june,s words chasing will destroy you , its happens to mist of this forum the urges are too much and its not fun

GA is a helping hand , and i feel for you as its everyone at moment , online , ads , , youngsters need protection

Good luck with stopping. I am 14 days free today. As far as I am concerned it is for ever now.

But I have been here before twice. Looking back over what happened this time, my advice is stop completely. What is gone is gone -but thinking you can "just" have a cheeky bet does not work for me. I need to stay stopped for good now. I hope you get your life back -I was bankrupt at 28, but managed to build up my life again. Nearly blew it this time but not quite.

Be strong, stay safe. Get help and be kind to yourself. We hear a lot about the hurt we cause as CGs -and of course it is all true. But we also feel a lot of pain and guilt -be a friend to yourself and go easy. Good luck

thanks june spraggy and petee! I've took your advice on board and very sorry to hear what you guys are going through too! I've never ever wanted it to get this far, I thought at the start it generally would be 'just for fun' as such! I wish it still was but I don't even feel excitement from it anymore, than when I use to! I wish I could go back to the days of playing 1 quid on coupons and maybe getting a return of 10 quid or more! but I realise now that I'm best taking myself away from it altogether!!

I haven't gambled since Sunday...maybe due to the fact I have zero quid in the bank, so when payday comes around, that's when the urge may or may not take a grip of me, I hope it doesn't this time!! I pray to God I am stronger, I have told myself as soon as the money is in my account, I take it out straight away!!! I'm not much of a bookies person, more online, I couldn't see myself spending all my wages in the bookies!!!

I've read other forums of people being in thousands of pounds of debt...and tbh if I got like that, I don't think I could go on in the world anymore!

Last night I woke up sweating about the gambling issue, I had to remind myself it is only money at this point and I can easily build it back up ...if I don't gamble!!!! It is stressing me out though! I'm lucky that my bills are paid for and can see myself through the next week and 3 days till pay day...it's then that will prove if I am strong enough, wish me luck! Again thank you for your support and your stories!

"and then one day I may end up winning big!"

no no no, I was exactly the same as you, I wanted to stop desperatly, I needed to stop! and yet when I would gamble I use to think that I have gambled SO much that it's not unrealistic to think I am due a lucky BIG win! Which will get me all my money back and even lots more which i totally deserve because of all the heartache and grief I have endured for continuing to gamble.I wanted something back as I couldn't have lost so much money and suffered so much grief and anxiety nothing.

But honestly you will NEVER win with gambling, you won't win big and you won't get your reward. You will never get the oppertunity to start over with your finances and you won't win BIG to give back to family and friends and make everything better again. And if you did win big (which you won't) you will gamble it all away again and feel even more miserable than you do now.

You need to stop gambling and you need to stop now. stop permanently and forever. Nothing good will come of making another bet. experience has taught you this, but your addicted mind will rationalise gambling for you. letting you find legitimate reasons to gamble again, no matter how small the reasons are. You can make your "last bet" because your "last bet" might be the one that you finally win BIG with and you can finally solve your financial crisis, stop gambling, spoil your friends, buy a holiday villa and tell the world "I told you so! Hah!"

The only way out is to stop gambling completely, and the longer you stop, the easier it is to fight the urge to gamble untill you begin to feel in control again. It is possible and it is much more realistic and doable to quit gambling as an addict than it is to have a happy life being an addict and still gambling. I wish you all the luck in the world and stay on the forums! 🙂

Thanks JayJay for the advice! I feel good today, haven't betted since sunday but I'm anxious about getting paid next saturday, I've said to my folks as soon as I get paid, I go to the cash machine and withdraw my money! I rarely put my money into the bookies/shop, so if I take that out the equation, I should be okay, I hope! I can only withdrew 200...I normally get paid 300+ every 2 weeks so the rest will be used for bills! that's the plan! I've currently got a job the now, but got a phone interview for a new job today so fingers crossed that will change my life too for the better! more money too, so I will be able to afford living a decent life again and I'll force myself to save and withdrew money whenever it gets paid into my bank! thanks again for the support

That's great, and yes withdrawing the money is a great idea!

you have done brilliantly by the way, you clearly want to fight your addiction head on and you have succeeded.

There is no harm in being confident about your quit too. Instead of being anxious about when you get paid, get excited instead, look at it as your first challange that your going to pass, your first milestone and experience as a non gambler.

And think ahead now about how happy you are going to feel when you get to post on here than you got paid and diddnt throw it away on the bookies/slots/bets. Trust me, you will be really happy with yourself 🙂

keep fighting the good fight and I'm excited to hear your journey

Jason

hi, there guys!! thanks again for the support jay! I've managed to keep myself busy since I last posted!! so now 10 days bet

10 days bet free sorry *

Hey jayafc

congrats on your achievment of 10 days! Your doing brilliant. I check gamcare when I can and it's great to read that you are still working hard and getting results

really pleased for you mate, your not far at all from that 2 week milestone now . (Looks for thumbs up button but realises there isn't one, d**n!)

hi there guys!.

thanks again for the support jay jay, means a lot!

well little update...I'm pleased to say im onto day THIIRTEEN, but it has been a struggle the past few hours, I got paid 400+ which was quite a surprise considering I was on holiday from work for a week, a few weeks back, so very happy(I get paid every 2 weeks) anyway I was so close to thinking of placing a bet and drumming up which teams to bet on, but I managed not to place a bet at all 😀 which is good, right? and what was even sweeter was the teams I would have bet on, wouldn't have won anyway! so again another reason why I shouldn't bet!!

so again, happy to say, I'm still bet free, and on sunday, it will be 2 weeks since I last placed a bet....hope the urges ease a little 🙂 yey!

thanks again for the support!!

Well done dude. Just remember, even if the teams had won you were right not to place the bet. One bet leads to several others and you would 100% be a loser in the long run. Stay strong

hi Jay just a couple of thoughts. You can get a free 28 day trial of a gambling site blocker called ' TxNogam ' (google it). this will help, the full version's also inexpensive. If you relapse one more time consider reporting your debit card lost with your bank (withdraw some cash first) - then you won't be able to use the card to gamble online. When the replacement arrives either cut it in two & bin it or give it to a trusted family member. You can always pay in cash at your bank to cover DD's etc, & withdraw cash with ID. You'll find that if you don't even have the option to gamble online by not having a valid debit card, then quitting becomes much easier, as long as you don't start going into bookies instead.