Hi, long term lurker on the site reading others stories but never posted my own.
Im addicted to Blackjack and on 1/1/2014 i decided enough was enough after wasting thousands of pounds and with my family and friends patience wearing thin. I lasted a whole month but on Saturday found myself driving to a bookies in another town(self excluded myself locally) spent what money i had and today hopped on a bus and spent the rest which was £400 over the 2 days. If it wasnt for getting more money through tomorrow i would be completely broke for 2 weeks.
I thought i had this beaten and i could go in and play £10 and walk away without any bother but no. I dream about gambling every night i am sleeping whether it be winning in the bookies or the casino and cant get away from it no matter how hard i try! 🙁
Tomorrow becomes day 1 again!
Hi Eggyfried, well done for bringing yourself to contribute to the Forum after this amount of time.
One month is an admirable achievement, but it is very unlikely to be long enough for your gambling-based thoughts to lessen considerably.
It is also much easier to give up, or have positive thoughts about giving up when you have little or no money - the real test comes when you do, and this often leads to relapse as you have experienced.
It is always goint to be this way my friend, it is will be a relentless cycle which you repeat over and over again; you can't win because you can't stop - your biggest win is your biggest nightmare because it will make you crave it more than ever.
I have stopped for five years after gambling for twenty; I fear winning, I absolutely despise the thought because I know what emotions will be brought out of me - change your way of thinking; winning money will only ever serve to drag you in deeper so what is the point of risking it in the first place?
If you are a long time lurker, then you will know that most people come here when it is far too late. You haven't reached that point my friend - you still have access to money and the love and support of your friends and family, no matter if it is strained or not - will that be the case the next time you post? How many times can they help you pick up the pieces?
Nothing is worth experiencing that my friend, no amount of money will ever compensate for how you will feel when that happens. Stopping gambling is painful, and very hard at times, but it pales in comparison to losing everything and having to face the world alone, and desperate.
You have a chance to avoid that, you have a chance to draw a line under what has happened and walk away for good. This isn't Day 1 - this is part two; use what you learned that helped you through this month and re-double your efforts - aim for two months, or even six months this time; I can almost guarantee you will start to distance yourself from these thoughts by then.
Be honest with yourself my friend - you don't have it in you to walk in, spend £10 and walk away; if you win, you want more of that euphoria, which will lead to losing. If you lose, you face soul-wrenching desperation to regain what you have lost, which will lead to losing. Nothing you ever do, say or learn will ever make you do anything different other than face that lose-lose scenario every time you gamble; accept it and walk away, for good.
JamesP
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