Good Evening
I have read quite a few stories on here and thought it was time that i shared my story with you all.
I am currently 219 days gamble free. This has not been an easy road but there was a sheer determination to stop gambling and repay some of the pain and destruction that i have caused throughout my 20 years of gambling, the last 2 -3 years being the worst.
Now i have a young daughter whom thankfully will never know about her daddy's issues and mistakes unless one of the fsamily tell her which i very much doubt they will.
Last year was the point where i had to come clean and single handedly destroy my wifes life. She believed in me 100% and never had any reason to doubt me and yes it was inevitable that i would be asked to leave the house because of the trust that i had broken and the lies and mistruths that i had told.
So we separated, but in that time i found GA and also Gamcare groups which have proved to be so so beneficial. When you are ready to accept that you cannot go any further and you have reached unfortunately your rock bottom, then there is only one way in which you can go. Further down or start to attempt to recover.
This is what i did and dont get me wrong it hasnt been without the pitfulls and desperation of loneliness but if you start out strong at the beginning you will succedd. You must want to do it for yourself. As the GA saying goes this is a very selfich recovery programme and only you can do it for yourself no one else can.
The biggest thing that i have to put right now is the damage that i have done to my wife. Will i ever be able to recover it hopefully yes. Will it be the same again no never because i have done what all gamblers do and that is lie through my teeth to gamble.
How have i done it well i started the GA programme and committed to it and also used Gamcare as well, but importantly in my eyes there has to be a want and a desire to stop gambling. I know that at the end of the desperation i was doing £150 lines on the lottery and winning el zip.
I also take very seriously the motto of you have to take one day at a time otherwise you will fall down. Little steps little targets and that is an achievable target. I will tell you my target after i stopped gambling. First of all will be my daughters birthday then Xmas then new year then my birthday and my wifes birthday and then that will complete a year practically.
I have a chance at making something of myself now and i am not going to give up this chance...... I hope this helps some of the newbies as they are starting out D
Thank you for your inspiring post, Destroyer. Inspiring because of your 219 days when I am only on Day 3, but as you say, one day at a time.....
Best wishes to you and your family, and I do hope that you can get things back on track with your wife and that your determination to put past bad experiences behind you will give you strength to forge ahead.
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