Hello all, I am very new to this, joined yesterday to be precise ! Seven years ago I started gambling, it started small, then after loosing about 1000 it turned into panic, I kept going in the hope that I would win back my losses, it has always been on the online slots, the ironic thing is on a 125.00 a go spin I won 17000, that would have got me back to where I had started, so I withdrew it right, wrong ! My head was then telling me, hold on you could win big here, cut a story that went on for about two months short I ended up loosing 45000. My husband found out and understandably went mad, I had a rather large pension, and took some money out of that to pay him back in full, all sorted then, no ! We will come back to the pension in a minute, Despite all this a few months later I started gambling again, looking back it seems that my reasoning for gambling is it is a good way of getting extra cash, problem was when I did have a big win my head would say keep going you could get it bigger !!! I used to tell myself my new gambling was not a problem as I only spent the spare income I had, did not get into debt to fund it and never borrowed to fund it. And so it continued for years, one evening I came back from work to a letter from hmrc appears the company I used to realise the funds were not legitimate and the matter was going to be investigated, and could result in a payment owing of 25000 for the vat not paid on the payment release. And that was it, I started gambling away our savings to try and get 25000, listening to myself now, I can't believe what an idiot I was, two days ago my husband found out and understandably went mad, my clothes were on the front door step when I got home and I have been sleeping on my daughters sofa since, the plus side of this is that she is studying to be a counsellor and has recently been studying gambling so has been an absolute god send. Sorry for the rant guys but It really has helped just writing it all down. I have read some of the stories on here and it has made me realise I'm am not unique just another statistic in a very worrying addiction
Hello Heather 67
Welcome to the forum and well done for reaching out for support with your gambling problems.
This forum is a very supportive place and you will get help and advice from people who understand how you feel.
I would also encourage you to contact our helpline where you can speak to an adviser who will listen to your concerns and give you information and help on the support that is available to you. An adviser can also facilitate a referral for you to attend free one to one counselling if that is something you would like to consider.
Our helpline is open 8am -midnight everyday the helpline number is 0808 80 20 133 and you can also contact us on the netline a link is provided on the home page.
Keep posting we are here to support you.
Best wishes
Forum Admin
Hi Heather
Ouch, what a nightmare. I gambled for 14 years and I estimate I might've lost around £125k.
Although I was in some debt through gambling, I still told myself excuses regularly to keep going. That I was different to others, that I wasn't addicted. It seems strange now that I could've told myself I wasn't addicted - when I was gambling on slots for 1-2 weeks, every day after pay day. Clearly it was very important to me that I kept the lie up - so that the other part of me could maintain respectability. Or maybe there weren't two sides of me - there was just me struggling with who I was, on the outside and in.
That's lucky your daugter can fulfill the role of family and professional. So easy to dismiss professional help on costs grounds - but at least you don't have that excuse.
I would suggest trying to be fully honest with yourself. Explore the extent of your addiction so that you can truly accept the addiction. Leave no room for doubt about it. I stopped around 3.5 years ago and acceptance was the big thing for me. There's then the issue of why you gambled - that's an exciting issue to address as it offers the chance of enriching your life in many ways beyond just abstaining.
Best wishes
Louis
Hi Louis,
Thank you for your words of support the last few days have been an emotional roller coaster, beginning with being in absolute bits and fighting the tears to write anything to today feeling stronger and determined to put this right, I was paid on Friday and not a penny has gone on slots, I am in the process of installing a blocker on my iPad but have to wait for my daughters help as she has to put in the passcode for any changes on my iPad, another thing we have done is changed the settings so I cannot delete my browsing history, so she can check everything I have been doing, that in itself is a good deterant! I will see how I go the next few days I am back at work Tuesday so that will help, if I feel any urges then I will give my daughter my card to look after, but at the moment I am so utterly devestated by what I have done the mere thought of gambling makes me sick.
Heather x
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
