New and stressed

Hello @colange,

Thank you for joining the Forum and well done for taking the steps to share your story and using this platform as an outlet. I'm sure you will be welcomed with  lots of support and encouragement from others on here.

Often for many others in your situation, just thinking about your debts/finances might make you feel overwhelmed and stressed. I will strongly encourage you contact a debt advice charity such as Stepchange they can offer you free, impartial and confidential advice on financial situation.

If you worried about your rent/housing situation. Shelter can offer advice on this

There are plenty of tools and resources available to help you take further steps to restrict your access to gambling. If you are gambling online, putting Gamstop (0800 138 6518 10am-8pm) in place can be effective as this self excludes you from all UK licensed betting sites with just registering online. 

I would encourage you to call the helpline and talk things through with one of our advisers. They can talk you through tools and strategies to help you stop gambling, and options for free treatment so that you have ongoing support. They will be able to offer you support and some practical advice with everything you have going on right now.  They are available 24 hours a day on the Helpline (0808 8020 133) and Netline (our webchat service) 

Please take care of yourself and keep posting

Vanessa

Forum admin

Hi Colange and welcome.

A very good step and in your heart of hearts you must back this up with a real feeling that the gambling must end.

Make this your rock bottom moment because it gets worse if you continue to gamble. There is help and there is understanding once people realise this is a drug addiction that alters minds and induces powerful cravings.

You need a born again moment to tell people close to you and build your foundations.. Your job and the roof over your head are the first things you must try and stabilise

You need financial advice as  you can only pay back what you can afford after a solid living allowance. Your current position is not sustainable but your main issue is that the gambling must stop.

The gambling has been destroying you so issues about your credit rating are secondary.

You your family and friends are the most important factors here which is why you need to be honest to protect them as well as yourself.

Please focus that there is no shame in admitting to a problem. You are not alone but one of millions that developed this problem so that should be some understanding when explaining this to others.

Your saviour is in reaching out for help so the stress doesnt build too much. Your mental health and well being are of key concern. Dont bury your head in the sand. Once your creditors know that you are in trouble they can only work with you. They cant get blood out of a stone as the old saying goes. There is plenty of life after bankruptcy if you consider that route but for now dont rush ahead of yourself.

It would be good if you could pick up the phone and tell your parents or someone you trust. Secrets are NO good for you and will eat you up inside. Its not about feeling any shame....gambling kills people so anything that you feel is awkward or embarrassing is NOTHING compared with the evils of gambling addiction 

People will help when you are ready to stop. Your mind needs to heal and I repeat that gambling is your biggest worry to sort out with the recovery and cold turkey that you need to do

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Thank you for your advice. I have already taken the step to block all gambling sites as advised. I no longer have access to any online casinos or gambling sites. 

My main focus at the moment is to get my rent paid on Monday. How I do that is another problem. Once that is sorted I will feel like the whole world has lifted from my shoulders. 

Right now I am overwhelmed by the whole situation! 

But hey I have made a huge step today! 

Hi Colange, 

I can really relate to this, many times i did the same, nearly lost home, career, business, marriage and felt i couldn't go on..... it is awful for you but you will get through this.   Its horrible and going to be an uncomfortable time for you this next month but you need to take deep breath and face your problems and plan...     

I went to Payplan (25,000 worth of debts) and although took quite a bit of paperwork they never judged me and arranged a monthly repayment plan which it is now nearly finished.  I was drowning under the debt, please don't get more debt, ask for time to pay from your lenders, landlord.   The money has gone please don't chase it, you wont win it back, you will loose more- please don't go back.    Be strong and take each day but please make plan and bit by bit it will sort.    xxxxx

Accept and understand that your losses are gone, perhaps, in someone pocket right now. That is not important now compared to your recovery starts now.

I do have a few suggestions as well:

1. Go and watch Utube clips on recovery gamblers such as Only Phil. It is really effective when you get gambling urges. It doesn't matter how many times you watch him as he is really funny at times.

2. Open a Monzo account, is the first bank to block gambling transactions. Put all money for safe keeping.

I hope this helps.

Xoi

Ps Stay sane, safe, calm, and take one day at a time

First I just wanted to say thank you to all who have posted before me.  What I have read so far is pretty much what I am feeling and going through.

I am not in the UK so I was just wondering if GamStop will work for me also?  I am in NZ if that helps.

I am also struggling with Online Gaming and only venture into Gaming rooms when I lose online.  My thinking is my luck has run out online it has to be somewhere else. 

I have gambled thousands and thousands in the past 3 years.  I am currently using my Sons car to get to work or public transport as I don’t have any savings to fix my own car.  I have ruined my credit and surprisingly I am happy because if I had got a loan I know I would’ve blown it on gaming.

I have spent whole pays in a few hours online and felt like the worst Mother in the world afterwards.

I started chasing losses and that’s when I really got out of control.  I was lying next to my Husband playing online pokies til early hours of the morning.  I recently went to work on 3 hours sleep.  I place myself in bed or on the couch so no one can see my screen and what Im doing.  I then get really shi**y when I lose and snap at any one of my family when they come to me with what I see is a problem or issue.  I literally have to go to bed any time of the day and say I don’t feel well and lie in complete misery kicking myself because I know what I am doing is bad.  Bad for me and my Family and it is not their fault and that is when the guilt kicks in big time.

Everytime I lose I tell my self out loud I need to stop only to turn around and say “whats another 20 then it turns into hundreds”.  I cry when I lose and I lie in bed when I’ve used all my cc money thinking about how Im going to spread the money I have left in my wallet across the next few days to pay.  

It is a really ugly problem and I have to and want to stop.  Any helpful tips or other forums that anyone can suggest I will gratefully take that info.  

Today is not the first day I decided enough is enough today is the day I decided to ask for help.

Go and get professional help when you can and leave the multi billion pounds industry alone (gambling industry). Your family money will not make a slight dent in the gambling industry and it is seems to be very short changes for them. 

Find health replacement for your gambling such as short walks, cycling, reading, writing a novel, learn new languages, join a walking group, painting, drawing etc. Interests and hobbies that interests you. Anything else that doesn't hurt you financially, emotionally, and spiritually. 

I hope this helps.

Xoi

Ps stay sane, safe, calm, and take one day at a time