Newbie

Hi,

Good first move. I'd encourage you to put all the blocks and bans in place so it isn't possible for you to gamble again. It's always good to put in a phone call to Step change and gamcare to talk to professionals.

Don't feel like a failure, it is possible for you to get support and battle through this but you do need to be honest and communicate. Generally when people communicate problems get solved.

@oranje01 

Thank you for the reply. 

Im going to call both of these today to speak to someone……..then plan to tell my wife later. I have no idea how that will go. 
Part of me fears the absolute worse as she found out about some of my debt last year but I said that was through excessive spending rather than this problem. I’d told her is was only about £8k at that stage……when it was closer to £40k. We’d put a budget plan in place and aimed to clear it. 
It’s those lies which I feel the worse about. 

I have to say, just being able to write it down and chat with someone helps. 

Thanks for the reply. 

Well that's you took the first step in the right direction. Telling my partner was not pleasant he went crazy he was so angry but he stood by me which I didn't think he would. I feel he is getting trust back in me again now . Yes it's a mess now but gradually improving I've had to start from nothing and have managed to save it's going to take a long time to recover financially but I have peace of mind now and not lying to anyone or hiding my secret addiction and also to know I'm not alone anymore that was the best words I heard from the lady on the support line. I wish you a full recovery on your journey to freedom 

Thank you to those that have replied. 

Last night I told my wife the whole situation. In fairness she was very calm about the whole thing but I’m sure most of that was shock. I am expecting anger at some point but she did say that we are still a family…..and that was a big thing for me. 

She says she just feels “numb” at the moment. I expect that’s what a lot of partners feel at first? She did mention that she’d had an idea about my debts as she’d opened a few letters recently, although didn’t know if the extent of it and had absolutely no idea of my gambling. 

Im hoping that with time and help we can get out of this ok. It did seem that putting things in place to help my addiction went some way to helping…….and a long way to helping me. Just talking to someone on the phone yesterday really helped, so if you are reading this and in any kind of doubt if this helps…JUST DO IT. It really does help. 

I have a call today to set up some counselling sessions and I’m hopeful that this will add to the help.

From being in a very down place 4/5 days ago, I now fell like a weight has been lifted. I know these are all the cliches and the situation isn’t this easy for others but this really did help.

It will take time to rebuild things with my wife…..and I’m still to tell the rest of my family and friends but I feel the first hurdle has been jumped.

Thank you all.