Hey people.
I'm new here....I'm hoping today will be the start of my recovery.Â
For over a year I've become addicted to online bingo and games where I can win money. At first it wasn't even a problem just a little flutter now and again but it soon spiralled out of control . The more I won the more I wanted to win I could never walk away anything I won including big wins went straight back in again . I was getting out loans to pay for rent and bills then getting out more loans to spend on site. 4 days ago I spent the whole of my rent on the site...initially I was up but I wanted to double winnings but I lost the lot in the space of an hour. I had to go cap in hand to parents to bail me out they have no idea about my issue.Â
I had to tell my partner about it today I realise I have a massive issue I've handed over credit cards to partner and transfered all money for bills and rent to partners account. The last straw was when I borrowed my son's saved Xmas money and lost it all....I'm so ashamed. I've blocked all gambling sites now. However it doesn't change me wanting to go back on them. But I know I can't just go on there and spend the odd little bit here and there I know I wouldnt be able to do that.Â
I suppose it's no difference to alcoholic being able to have 'Just one drink ' so that's what brings me here today...for support and help xx
Many thanks in advance x
Hi Ria.
I think it's how many of us start to be honest. Maybe it's just out of curiosity to begin with then it takes on a life form all of its own. I remember reading a poem on here called "I am Addiction". It can be googled. It's quite powerful but in the early times the words in the poem were just that, words. However in the latter days when I came upon the poem again the words meant much more because I "felt" exactly what they meant. That was the sad part - that was when I "knew".Â
I didn't initially want to put blocks in place as it shut the door on any way back into gambling but you have and that will really benefit you. At least not having to fight temptation will take a load off your mind.
Take comfort in the knowledge that you haven't been caught up in this for several years. Look at it as a blip. For sure it may be a painful and distressing time in your life but after the hard work has been done you'll then be able to put it in the "bad memory" department and look forward to a life of emotional peace. All the best.
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