Owning my mistakes

Until a couple of months ago I had been gamble free for 6 years. That is until someone on my Facebook sent me a request to join a raffle competition. I ignored it for a couple of weeks, not really knowing what it was. But then one bored night I did the worse thing - I looked. Of course it peaked my interest straight away. So I signed up and put a couple of pounds on. 
it’s not the raffles with an end prize that got to my addiction. It’s the ones with instant wins. Before I knew it I had joined about 8 of these sites, spending more and more, and when my bank account had run out I moved onto my credit cards. You know what it’s like, the more you spend, the worse you feel, and the more you do it trying to chase that win and get your money back.
And for most of the sites there is no way of self excluding. I have however been able to exclude from a few. But knowing that my accounts are still active on a few gives that opportunity to still do it. And I haven’t had the strength to stop. That is until this week my credit loan bills are due, I have gone over my limit of almost all of them, and the interest is so high there’s no way I could afford to pay them. so I have had the embarrassing day of phone calls and emails to my debts trying to set up payment plans. 

I did so incredibly well, not gambling for 6 years. I had no debts, own my car outright, bought my own house last year, and had a good amount in savings. But within 3 months I have managed to ruin it all with these competition sites, that has now gotten me into nearly £50,000 worth of debt! - I have gotten myself into this debt and I need to start owning my mistakes and start fresh again. 

it’s affected my life and I didn’t accept it until now, I am neglecting my work, my uni studies, my life. And as my name says - a fresh start. That’s what I need. To be responsible. 

I know this was a very long post and I don’t even mind if I get my reply’s, or no one reads it. This is me finally opening up, and taking control of my life. I hope this is the last time I have to do this. 

Take care everyone ❤️