Past caught up with me.

Thank you for the reply

The first steps i will be taking today is giving my cards to my GF i need her to help me manage my money. Step 1

Deano I have just seen this and your right! May 2012 til last weekend 2016 is a great achievement! Thank you for making me see this! I have been In such a low place this past week.
I need to get back on the bike and ride again.
Thanks.
This thing won't beat me. MARK MY WORDS!!!!

Hi macca, you have done so well for 4 years please don't let this lapse define you. You have shown you can be strong for yourself and your wee girls, who clearly mean the world to you. Dust yourself down and get back on the path you were strolling nicely along. Great advice from the guys above. Get some blocks in place and hand your finances over to your girlfriend as planned and here's to the next 4 years gamble free. Take care xx

Hi All,

Not feeling so great today! Went doctors yesterday was given some 'happy pills' been given theses before in 2012 never followed the whole 1 a day for 28 days so this time i will and fingers cross they help.

The doc signed me off for 2 weeks atm as i have been struggling at work, thing is i care so much for my work that i struggle to switch off! anyways day 4 of no gambling just wish i didnt feel so empty inside.

better go, speak soon.

Macca

Hi Macca, glad you saw your GP and it seems he has put some measures in to get you over this rough patch. Please take your full course of tablets as they really do help. Try to keep busy on your days off and remember to get some rest. You will be back to work in no time and you will feel the benefit of both the extra time off and your medication.

We're all on this road together and you will find fantastic support on this forum. Take care

Thank you Annie!
Them kind words mean great comfort to me, I very much appreciate it.

Time off will do Me good! Just need to channel the energy some how.

How's it going macca; enjoying your time off? Keep busy, read the diaries etc. I have been doing a few free online courses and they have kept me busy - have a wee look, there might be something of interest for you there: Future Learn

Take care friend xx

Hi Annie,
I'm good thanks! Amazing what a few days reflecting can do plus the sun is shining. I must admit I had a constant headache for about a month leading up to this, I mean every day and it was killing me! Since I've come clean and for the first time I can remember there was no headache this morning, could not believe it, must be the weight off my shoulders. Feeling very good and positive today!

Thank you about the courses Annie I will definitely take a look I love learning new things.

That's great macca, I'm delighted for you. The power of reflection cannot be underestimated, however action on reflection is where it can become a bit tricky where us compulsive gamblers are concerned! When writing relective accounts for studies i tend to use 'Gibbs reflectice cycle' and since embarking on this journey I have found it is helpful here too.

Can't beat a bit sun, no headache and gamble free days - no wonder you are feeling good and positive today! Keep up the good work, you are doing well friend xx

Hi macca,

I have only been gamble free for a few short days and been to the GP and put on happy pills, I know your feeling like it's the end of the world, i nearly lost my Husband and 5 kids through my own stupidity and was so close to ending it. But do you know what, life is far too precious to throw away and gambling is a short term flutter of that life, do not hate yourself for your little blip, just move on and put it behind you and focus on what you have in front of you.

mrsp.

Hi Macca,

Hope things are going well?

I remember the 2-3 weeks tuning up to telling the Mrs. It was very hard! I knew my gambling had become an addiction and I was out of control. I needed and wanted to tell her! Then came a birthday, so I delayed! Then she came ill and was in bed before the kids! I was stressed to hell wanting to tell her. Eventually the time came, just before Mother's Day, I couldn't delay anymore, it was killing me, even though I was gamble free through this period. It was great to come clean and I felt good facing my demons. She took it well for 48hours, then came the Q&A sessions again stressful but needed to clear the air and make a non gambler try and realise the actions of a GA, virtually impossible to do but if it helped my wife just a little then great. I was a bit messed up again for around two weeks but attended my first GA meetings which did help. Since then I know I've grown stronger in my mind and recovery. It's not an easy road to recover as you'll find but set yourself goals and be strong minded and take everyday as it comes. That's a good place to start.

Cheers.

First GA meeting tonight, wish me luck.

Good luck, hope it goes well for you, remember you'll be amongst friends who will not judge you. There will be nothing that they probably haven't heard before, let it all go and you'll feel so much better. Look forward to your feedback on the meeting.

Good luck bud. I remember my first one well so nervous nearly turned around buy I knew I had to do it. As I've always said it was the best gamble I ever made.

I remember coming out thinking wow quite a euphoric feeling the next day i felt such a relief. I had told my family but to share with other likeminded people who understand and have been there.

I know it's not for some people but hope it is for you it can be a massive help. I would always say don't judge it after your first meeting give it time and try different meetings if you can. Look forward to hearing how you get on

KTF