playing slots is ruining me

Hi

Like u I have a problem. I racked up 11k of debt. I felt sick. Couldn't eat. Didn't show my family any affection. It drained me physically and mentally. I was thinking very bad thoughts and one day I thought to myself enough is enough. Went downstairs shaking and told my husband everything. How much. How often. Most I'd won. Most I'd lost. Credit cards and loans he didn't know I had. I knew I was risking losing everything but in my eyes that secrecy was going to kill me one way or another. I was down and depressed. I had tried to stop on numerous occasions but never did. I'm only 23 days in but now everything's out in the open all of the urges I had seemed to be put aside and that's because I now have no control of my finances. Sounds sad but my husband has all of my bank details and info and our money is out somewhere where he monitors it. Sound like a child but I don't care I would rather that than what was happening to me a few weeks ago. I'm now seeing a counsellor and have cancelled all accounts. In just 3 weeks I feel happy and content for the first time in 6 years. I'm not stupid enough to ginkgo I'll never have those urges again but I'm hoping I can control them a whole lot more when they come.

Good luck with your new life. ..I guarantee it's much better than when you're gambling!

Hi I wish I could tell my husband but I can't or won't 5 years ago he had a heart attack then a bypass then his mum passed away I don't understand why but this is when my gambling started and now I see him go to work and come home tired and like a self it cow I gamble our money at least I'm on here and not gambling perhaps I can put things right without him ever knowing who knows I hope I can , my moods are terrible I just wonder how long this will last

Hello all. Reading all these stories made me see so many of us are in the same position. It has caused endless rows for me at home. On occasions we have gone out for a night out and I will say lets just pop in and have a drink (casino) and do £20.... ££500 later I do the walk of shame and leave that d**n place in tears. Silence on the drive home and then yet another sleepless night. I don't even do it to win as such. I just enjoy pushing that button hoping a feature will come in. I can't remember the last time I bought myself something. If I c a top I like and its £30 I think to myself that's 30 spins so I won't get it!! I lie to my friends about y I'm feeling down or where I have been. It's so so sad and it's driving me crazy. I know the casino will always b the winners. I know that! I also know I will NEVER get back the thousands that I have gambled away. Ever. Please keep in touch. Star x

Everyone doing ok today? Star x

Hi star hope you have bypassed the cassino it's my worst night tonite Wednesday pay day tomorrow the little man in my head keeps saying just try £50 you might win my heart is saying put the £50 towards my grandchildrens Xmas pressie if I go to bed and sleep I will be fine if I wake up in the middle of the nite it will take all my will power to stop me getting up and pushing the botton I have one last slot account open and I can't bring myself to close it I hate these thoughts

Hi Julie

I know how you feel. I haven't been to the casino as I have no money but I will have next week and that is when I will need to find strength. I have blown £400 before without getting a single feature. I begin to shake and feel sick. Everyone must think I am crazy. I don't like what I have become. I use to be so happy!! The money we waste JULIE is silly and we could do so much with it. Why don't we learn? We will never be winners. What games do you play? Star x

Hi star left my phone at work for a day to stop me having the urge to spend our wages it worked at last a week without worry been and bought a carpet today and a new top how good it felt , hope you are feeling ok I'm not saying haven't wanted to gamble the urge was always there but I'm putting a brave face on I feel like death actually excluded from my last site so I can't even have a little spin started playing games on Nintendo lol not the same but keeping me out of mischief hope you stay away from the cassino we can do this, bring back the happy times x

Hi Julie. I'm so glad your are keeping busy and staying strong. I know what you mean about buying a new top... I don't buy myself anything anymore as I throw my money away else where. Tomorrow is going to be hard. I have £40 and am already thinking I just need an hour to myself but is it worth the 40 minute drive just for 40 spins?! I could be in and out in just a few minutes and leaving a loser is an awful drive home! To b honest I can't win either way because even if I do win it will either go back the same day or the next. Sick of this life. Why is this one of the only things that give us pleasure! Stay strong tomorrow. Star x

Hi. I'm still free from gambling and I've had the best 4 weeks ever. Bought myself clothes and had nights out and I'm actually not skint. It's an awful feeling cause you don't win and the feelings it created is awful. I was in the casino with my husband last night as that's what we use to do together. I went in got a drink and watched. Watched people sticking on note after note...upping their game everything they lost. I thought I would have been tempted but I'm beginning to realise how bad those place are. I'm so proud of myself as I never thought I could do it but in doing and that's because I've been honest. I had tried so.many times to stop but without having people to talk to its so difficult to do. I know it's hard telling people but I was genuinely thinking such bad things a few weeks ago and now I'm a different person. I'm happy.

If your tempted think about how you feel afterwards when you don't win. Think about the things you could do with the money. 11k I've spent I could have done so.much with that. Don't let them draw u in.

Kelmar 123, Perhaps its time you and your partner found some new hobbies.Never found it a good idea for a compulsive gambler to hang around in casinos

Hi star I hope you kept your £40 and have stayed gamble the demons are still talking to me but I'm going to beat them come on we can do it xx

Hi julie.. I wish... Just posted a new post x

Hi star you need to believe in yourself things will get better says me who can't sleep I take it you went to the cassino and lost we are never going to be winners just try and fight the urges , iv decided to diet go to the gym and save some money if I don't kill myself in the process, I don't like myself anymore I keep telling myself next year will be different , I hope it is for you and me xx

Haha Julie... I've said the same re gym and diet! I need to get my frustrations and anger out somehow and hopefully lose a few stone aswell!

Yes I did go and yes I did lose.... Again! Felt sick and angry like I always do. We must do this. We can do this. Can't we? Star x

Well today has been a bad day had to fight the urge to go out and and find some slots then a last the kick in the teeth came , my own fault court order seeking repossession of our house can't get any lower I'm in pieces why did I do it can't stop crying but that's no good it's all my fault end of the line now