Reaching out but scared

Hi I'm not a gambler but the wife of one. I discovered my husbands debt situation. It was awful, I would have had so much more respect for him if he had come to me and just told me the situation. So my advise would be that you've just got to bite the bullet and go for it. When he sees that this is coming from you and you really want/ need help I'm sure you can work out the financial situation together. Not much help I know but I think you will feel so much better once you have shared your problem. Pick a good time and tell him you've already been on here and let him see that you're serious about stopping and need his help. I wish you all the best.

Just not sure how to approach it-tell him everything (scared he'll take kids and walk) we've never had a problem like this to overcome so unsure on how to help him cope. Just wanna curl up and dissolve. Am I really worth his help. Did your partner just sit you down and tell you? Don't think I'm brave enough.

No I found out- he didn't tell me at all but I really wish he had done! You are not a bad person, you've just got yourself hooked on this awful addiction. I would advise to tell him all of it. My husband lied about the amounts several times and it doesn't help. You are worth his help. Yes he'll be angry but you can't hide it for much longer surely without him finding out and then it will be worse. You could both speak to gam care cos they offer counselling which would help you both.

Just know I've let my family down, I know this and if I feel this bad I can't imagine how he will feel, can't find the strength to start to talk, feel so alone now not sure if I can cope with his anger/disappointment -so selfish I know. Sorry to seem so pathetic just desperate for help and support but really scared to face this. Thanks for replying, can't do this alone

It's not pathetic at all. It's the very reason my husband never told me I guess. I really recommend giving gamcare a call in the morning. They will advise you and help you feel not so alone. The addiction is destroying your self esteem. The one thing that has kept me supporting my husband is that I know he would never abandon me if the roles were reversed. He will be upset but there is support out there for him too.

Thanks for your kind words, going to give gamcare a call in the morning. Know I need help just need to get it. Think you are amazing that you find the strength to help and support others- thanks for your words tonight I am close to the edge and needed some support xx

Hi Kitty

I'm sorry that you are having such a tough time. I am in a similar position to you, although I'm divorced and live alone with my daughter, so I have no husband to admit everything to. But, today I took a huge step and told my Dad and Step-mum everything .... all about my gambling (that has been a secret for 3 years), the debt I'm in, how scared I am and how down I feel. We all cried and I was completely terrified before I told them, but now I'm so glad I did. They took it much better than I thought they would and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders just talking to them.

I really hope you find the courage to tell your husband and that he can support you. It is scary, but you will feel better I promise.

Good luck.

BowWow x

Morning kitty

i hope you are feeling a bit better this morning. Just wanted to say when you do tell your hubby ( cos I have every faith you will find the courage!) tell him about the friends and family section on here. There are a lot of great people who give brilliant advise and support on there. He will 'meet' a lot of people( men included) who are in the same situation. Good luck x