Hello. I am new to this site. I am on day 2 of no gambling. I have gambled on and off for years, never an issue. I was off work sick for a few months over the summer and turned to every day gambling. The last 2 weeks have been filled with anxiety about the amount of money I have lost and when to tell my husband. I reached out to GamCare yday and they have been excellent. I feel the gambling is part of a bigger issue. Like why can’t I cope with downtime? Why do I need to fill it with unhealthy coping skills. I don’t gamble for the money, I don’t actually care about the money, I don’t care if I win. I do care when I lose which inevitably happens, however I seem to forget quickly this devastation and return to gambling. I find I am not comfortable with silence, or just being, I always need to be on my phone or doing something which then leads to gambling.
Anyway GamCare have referred me to speak with someone I have an appointment next week. I spoke with my husband last night and he was wonderfully supportive. I am very lucky.
he is out tonight with friends. My son is in his bed. I have thought about returning to gambling a few times but is has been fleeting thoughts which I have quickly distracted myself with watching films.
I have also registered with gamstop and put Gamban on my phone and tablet.
thanks for reading, it’s long I know. Thought it would be good to just write some things down and get it out my head
If you EVER get a pang to gamble, come on to this site and read the stories here
https://www.gamcare.org.uk/forum/family-friends/
You'll see what your gambling pang results in, devastation and regret everywhere in this thread, from family members.
I am so happy for you! You sound like you are on the right path to recovery. Honestly the sessions I had have been a life saver and I am so grateful for the help and support I have received! I really hope it goes well for you. Wishing you luck in your journey. I have not gambled for 3 months, having done it most days for 20 years!! It feels amazing to have my life back. I still have debts and low days but I feel better equipped to deal with the bad. All the best with everything xxx
I am so happy for you! You sound like you are on the right path to recovery. Honestly the sessions I had have been a life saver and I am so grateful for the help and support I have received! I really hope it goes well for you. Wishing you luck in your journey. I have not gambled for 3 months, having done it most days for 20 years!! It feels amazing to have my life back. I still have debts and low days but I feel better equipped to deal with the bad. All the best with everything xxx
Thankyou for supportive comments.
day 3 now, no gambling. Still have fleeting thoughts of playing slots and certain games that I liked to play. But no wavering here. I am committed to remaining gambling free
my goal is to find positive coping skills. I tend to replace one negative thing for another, like binge eating. So I am going to try and replace this with healthy eating and exercise…very hard during Xmas time lol
anyway I feel positive
i feel in control
i feel very lucky to have the family and friends that I have
i also feel quite proud of myself for seeking help and motivating myself. However I do tend to feel guilty for feeling proud of myself as if that minimises my recent troubles or losing money, I still feel the guilt about that
take care all and merry Xmas x
@carolp again, I have the same feelings of feeling guilty for being proud of how far I’ve come. I have to dig deep and have positive self talk. I can’t help thinking I’ve have been conditioned to feel guilty about doing well and changing for the better. I think maybe certain people in my life and society to a certain extent don’t like seeing others do well and that negativity I have experience in the past keeps repeating itself. I genuinely think you have done an amazing job. The whole experience is difficult but you will come out of it stronger and more empowered. Keep going xx
Day 6 today GF
i have my counselling appointment today and I’m quite nervous about it. This will be my first appointment, don’t really know what to expect
funny thing, just got a notification on my phone that my screen time is down 76% from last week lol just shows you the amount of time i was spending on my phone playing slots
its also nice to see my bank balance hasn’t changed much. My bank balance was very volatile before. Rich to skint, rich, skint all changing throughout the day. Almost always ending up with less than I started with
i am also enjoying actually watching television with my husband. Previously we would have stuck a programme on but I wouldn’t really have been watching it, I would be playing slots on my phone while he watched it. Now I actually know what’s happening in the programme
I’m also sleeping so much better. And that feels amazing. For months I have been waiting until my husband fell asleep and then playing slots on my phone until maybe 5am. I still needed to get up about 7.30-8 so I have been walking about completely shattered and drained for months. What a difference a good nights sleep makes
Take care everyone xx stay strong xx you got this!
C xx
Day 7 GF
feeling good. Proud of myself ?
had my first counselling appointment yesterday and it went really well. I find it quite hard talking about myself that much but I think it can only be a positive thing
xx
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