Rock bottom

Hi darkdays

I have just registered to this forum after reading your story, as it started off very similar to mine. My problem is after 15/16 years I am still battling with my addiction! The amount of times I've stop and then after the time the old habits kick back in and once again I'm gambling, losing money and my life. A while back I used a forum similar to this and it does help, I think that's why I was on here tonight as I really need to stop but I am currently alone in my addiction once more.

From what you have said your addiction is out in the open which is the best place for it as once it becomes hidden that's when I lose the battle, don't make the mistakes I have made.

First step is to understand you can't beat this alone. Secondly don't trust yourself, take this out of your hands by speaking every week to your partner/parents/friend about the week showing them your bank statements, credit card statements etc. Don't look at this as a mistrusting action by them, but an action from you to make sure you don't get into a mess. Over time this can go to monthly maybe six monthly. A good way would be an experian credit report as this will give them a summary of any borrowings. If I had done this and keep up with it my addiction wouldn't gone on.

Yes I agree there are many other things you can do and you might be strong willed to give up on your own but what if you're not. You don't want to be 38, 39 in March still battling with this horrible addiction

Take care

Sam

Hi Sam & Darkdays.

Welcome to you both. I've been on here 5 days and have received so much support - knowing I'm not in this alone anymore in itself is a huge relief. I have had so many pearls of wisdom since I have been on here, but I think the one that sticks in my mind the most is that I can't win gambling, because no win is ever big enough. My poison is on line slots and I can't seem to withdraw when I am up. I might have a figure in my head of say £250, when I'm at £250 I'll withdraw, but if I get to £250 I move the goalposts to say, 300 and so it goes on. Even if I do manage to start a withdrawal, I end up reversing it until I am down to zero balance again and that seems to be a pattern among us - even if we do manage to win, we gamble it away again within days or weeks so we never really won anything. Every time you are tempted, come on here, there are so many people that are supporting you here. Just put your thoughts down in writing - it helps me to verbalise what I am thinking. You have so many reasons to win this fight, and there is safety in numbers! Give your family a reason to be proud of you again. We've all done bad things Darkdays, my darkest day was about a week ago and I am thoroughly ashamed that I gambled away my rent money BUT I am determined that I will not allow myself to continue to be the person that I became. That won't happen again. I am 6 days clean and hope to be on here in a year saying that I haven't gambled for 365 days.

Dark Days you are one of many people on this site who is addicted to gambling.

That doesnt mean your a bad person and many people do not realise gambling is a very serious illness.

The casinos and online games are designed to get you hooked , they throw big winners at you and then you go chasing the next big win.

Trust me I know , before christmas they threw £4.5k at me most of which I gave them back , we can never win because we can never walk away.

Phone gamcare and get some help mate and concentrate on winning back the most important people in your life , im sure if they can see you getting help it might persuade her to stay with you.

Anything is worse a crack , start a recovery diary and see how far you can go.

Hi guys

I too am new and an online slot addict I can certainly relate to that scenario of never winning enough and not having the strength to walk away. Gambling organisations are so switched on to this because they give you plenty of opportunity to reverse any winnings so they are so switched on to the pscychology of gambling they can play us and predict our behaviour.

Darkdays may I suggest you are still so young I see such hope for you try blocking your access to gambling sites so you just can't use them its what I have done takes the choice away. How do you feel about giving your partner control of the money so she knows your serious. Thirdly find other ways to use that time, you have a daughter so take her out more enjoy time with her her younger years are all too quickly gone. All this will help divert attention from wanting to gamble easier said than done but so worth it.

I think you have every chance of creating a new history, so one step at a time you can beat this good luck.

Lorrie

Hi all,

Thanks for sharing everything!

it does make me feel better to know I'm not alone and other people are dealing with the same things. I just hope we can all beat this! I'm going to give it my all, and hope it's enough. As it goes for the win is never big enough I can relate to that!!! I'm going to give gamcare a call, and maybe go to the GA meetings anyone tried this? How did it go if so?

Thanks.

Josh

Hi
Josh

I have attended Ga for over 7.5 years. It saved my life. There you will find people who have experience & solutions to your problems. The recovery model of the 12 steps will help you through that which troubles you.
As with anything the more you put into it the more you will get out if it