I'm a 19 year old student living in Leeds and I've been gambling on and off ever since i got to university nearly 2 years ago. It has completely destroyed me. I've been through 3 really bad phases where i've lost my student loan + all of my savings. In the last couple of nights the same thing has happened but this time worse than ever. What was meant to be a night of exam revision quickly turned into an 8 hour long gambling session, predominantly on live black jack. Like always, i found myself up large sums of money, £2000, £3000 then £6000. I start thinking about how this will change my life and all the nice things i'm now able to do. As time goes by, i start losing more and more untill i've lost everything i started with. I'm constantly trying to withdraw my money but i find myself cancelling them over and over again until i'm back to depositing my own money. They make it impossible for you to leave that pending withdrawal alone. I even sent them an email a few nights ago asking for them to put a deposit limit on my account but they never got back to me. I find this so irratating as i know if i had a deposit limit set i would never have put myself in this situation. I'd ended up on a website called '777'. I don't know if anyone has been on there before but there is literally no way to set a deposit limit. The only reason i was using that website was because that after my third bad phase of gambling I self-excluded myself from all the big website as well as bookies and casinos just to be on the safe side. This all happened two nights ago, only that time i talked to my parents about my problems and they refunded me all the money I had lost. I swore never to do it again.
I got myself in the same situation last night and i have now lost everything. Not only every penny in my bank account but also my friends and family. I never thought i'd turn out like this. My parents brought me up well and i have completely let them down. I can't describe the emotion i felt when heard my mum crying down the phone to me. I would do anything to turn back time and tell her i love her. Probably worst of all, I think I have just messed up university as i'm in no fit state for my exams tomorrow. All i want to do is start again. As soon as i did what I did, I felt like i had no other option but to end my life. I feel worthless and have nothing going for me anymore. I don't know what to do
Jamie
Please Jamie. Do not do anything hasty. Your family will be distraught by what you have done, out of love and concern, but their lives will be destroyed and they will never recover if you were to end your life. Ring the samaritans or the gamcare helpline.
Jamie,
I've been there buddy and I promise you things can turn around, I'm proof of that.
It sounds like you've hit your rock bottom....it's only getting better from here if you make the right decisions and start afresh with a positive attitude.
Get in touch with GamCare, chat with someone, you don't have to be alone. Yes your family and friends may be disappointed but I can guarantee you they will always be there for you.
It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do and I felt like you do but think of today as the beginning of the rest of your life. Be strong and be safe
God Jamie ! Whatever you do, in the heat of the moment, don't end your life - it isn't the end of the world.
1) install a site blocker for your computer - you can get one here (you can get a 28 day trial version for free for now):
http://www.plevna.f9.co.uk/block-gambling-with-txnogam.htm
2) get help, see your GP urgently, get help from Student Welfare if you can.
3) do the exams after that you can start to work on things.
4) try to pluck up courage to tell your parents what you have done (again). Tell them you need help need them to control your finances for a long time.
5) reporting a further loss to your parents will cause them anguish, however this is nowhere near the level of anguish they would go through if you ended your life. Make a solemn promise to them that you will repay them in time.
So right now have a long hot bath, study as best as you can & do the exams. You could always retake them in time if you needed to. The pain will ease in time it will get better believe me. Put it into perspective no-one has died make sure it stays that way. Forget about the idea of making money gambling, it costs these sites a small fortune to set up & run the sites, they don't do that to give you money, they are businesses. How do you know they don't take half the aces out of the shoes before dealing the cards out ? Just forget about gambling & move on, it will get easier in time & you'll then get a sense of perspective. take care
Jamie at 19 years of age you must cerinaly have not ruined your life.
It may seem that way. theres very little you cant come back from as others have stated if the worst comes to the worst its another year in university.
I started gambling when i was about 17 had a real problem
But to make a long story short i new a guy around the same age who also had a problem.
He ended up committing suicide. it was the kick in the a*s i needed to stop and i did. had a happy life for over twenty five years till i started again.
Put this down to a life lesson and focus on your studies.
Hello Jamie
I would like to wish you a warm welcome to the forum. There's a great deal of help for you here, and I can see you've received a lot of support and advice from others already.
When you posted, you mentioned that you felt you had no choice but to end your life. I was really sorry to hear that you felt that way and I'm wondering how you're doing now? It sounds like you've been through a lot with the ups and downs of gambling, as well as going through a stressful time at university with the pressure of upcoming exams. I can hear how much you care about your family, and feel you've let them down. Try not to be too harsh on yourself. You've made some mistakes but it's clear how much you want to change. It can be really difficult to overcome a gambling problem so try to take this step by step. You've already taken the first steps by admitting that you have a problem and by reaching out for help here.
Support is going to be really important for you now so that you can focus on your own well-being, stopping gambling as well as focusing on other priorities in life, such as your studies. Although you cannot start again, you can start to make some positive changes which will enable you to get back in control of the situation and your gambling, and help you to feel a bit more positive (e.g. installing some blocking software).
If you would like to call us to talk about this in more depth please do call the Helpline: 0808 8020 133 or Netline: https://aurapp01.mplaurora.net/chatapp/joinchat.aspx Both lines are open every day from 8am - midnight. We may also be able to offer you some free individual counselling sessions, face-to-face or online.
Outside of these hours if you need someone to talk to or if you're feeling suicidal please reach out to the Samaritans: 116 123 or The Maytree: 020 7263 7070.
Best wishes
Laura
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