selfish and indulgent individual

Hi MissD,

Welcome to the Forum and thank you for your first post.

It is a first step to start talking about this. You say that no one is aware of your habit.

It is difficult to keep a gambling problem a secret, it takes much energy and can lead to feeling very isolated. Maybe the next step could be to think about whether you want to make changes to the way it is going for you now.

You can talk this through with an Adviser on the HelpLine on 0808 80 20 133 or contact the NetLine. Both services are open from 8 am to midnight every day and you would be able to discuss ways forward for yourself.

All the best

Gabriele

Hi MissD1983.

Welcome to the forum.

Its a complex addiction so dont be too hard on yourself. We are all on the scale of addiction and naturally seek pleasurable chemical feelings. Its deep because essentially we are chemical rushes round the bloodstream and pleasure centres in the brain.

A gambling addiction is more complex than just being selfish, greedy or indulgent. Its now in the same chapter as substance abuse because thats actually what it is and the way it works.

Sit down an do the exercises...write down what you have lost and ask yourself if its really a buzz? Do you really enjoy playing because I ended up in a grim cycle of dependence. The escape was stronger than the chasing but I wasnt really playing for the money...the hit was in playing and it was a trance or stupor I ended up in...I would struggle to call it a high but there was some effect my brain craved. The addiction takes over in the same way an alcoholic needs to start drinking as soon s they get up or a class A addict sources money just to get a fix to stop the rattling. Are they really enjoying it past a certain stage?.....I think not

A gambling addiction is far from fun. A harmful addiction is an illness of the mind. That doesnt mean you need a straightjacket...it does mean that your compulsive gambing is harming your finances and therefore your wellbeing.

It needs to be dealt with. You may feel you have some control with "putting in £20" or by creating comfort zones of you have no debt. No one is aware is actually worrying as the addiction thrives on secrets. It gets worse and before you know it sessions are £500 a time or more. I remember one particulary bad episode where I found myself in an arcade in a scottish city in a cold sweat blowing well over that. Im still delusional about the amount because the money was just tokens to keep me in the zone. When the drug wears off (as there is no more money), the depressive comedown is horrendous

I had been addicted to slots for forty years. Only now do I finally see the reality of what they are and how ill I was

There is no shame in admitting it got to you

Please talk to someone close, look at the advice on proper blocks and keep using the forum

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Hi MissD,

Welcome and thanks for sharing your story. It’s very interesting seeing how you feel when you get that buzz.

I too have an addictive personality and once I start something it then becomes then norm very quickly.

Like you it was the buzz of playing on the slot machine. Whether it being online or whether it being in a bookies or services. As I have said in a few posts to me I could waste hundreds chasing the features.

Like so many I have had ups and downs and needed it to help me through my tough times. Sadly it never helped and my losses made everything a whole lot worse.

Just to give you some context.....

If you put £20 per day online, that equates to £600 per month. That over 12 months is £7200.

I’m sure you could do a lot with that just like most of us. Maybe buy something nice for yourself and make you feel good instead of the wee flutter which I am guessing comes with losing.

Joydivider has given some valuable insights into how they have progressed and are still progressing through their addiction.

I’m guessing you are here not to brag about how you love to gamble or get naked in the bedroom but seek like minds so you can talk about how you feel and try to over come this battle.

We can help, but first you need to want to help yourself.

CJ.

PS the buzz I got from gambling isn’t comparable to s*x in any way. If it was I’d never have gambled 🙂

Addiction has a habit of making its slaves feel worthless but regardless of what you think you have or are, just like most of us when we first arrive here, you are in pain but it can get better.

This is obviously a gambling site but the s*x stuff is equally important as addicts are prone to cross addictions especially when the supply chain of our chosen poison is cut off. Have posted you a link below in addition to the gambling advice...

https://www.slaauk.org/is-slaa-for-me/

I know you said you didn’t expect a response but we all care about each other here so hopefully you will take something from it.

Thank you for the kind words.

I definitely do not feel it is something to brag about, far from it. I’m here as I identify it is a problem for me.. and I don’t want to open up to anyone in my personal life, not because I can’t, I chose not to.

I keep going one day at a time, happy lives to you all.