Don't really know if its worth writing anything here but I've recently hit my epiphany.Â
I'm a 25 female living alone with rent to pay and struggle financially enough as it is, and as soon as I get a little bit extra I'm on Treasure Mine on PokerStars tipping it away. Started with pence and no more than a pound, now I'm into double figures because the return is bigger. And I seem to always win in xxxxx once or twice which would actually help me, so I convinced myself it wasn't that bad if my return was good.Â
Now I'm greedy and no matter what I win I'm throwing it all back in so I'm in the red again, and I'm meant to be going away this weekend and can't tell my boyfriend I'm skint because he knew I had money the beginning of the week.Â
It's embarrassing, it's horrible, and I don't know why I've put myself in this situation. Seeing -£20 over and over and over again listed in my banking app is so upsetting, because I only deposit so much at a time to kid myself I've got a handle on the amount I spend. I don't.Â
Any words would be nice, it's my first time I've admitted there's an issue I need to sort and I need to before it's gone too far, it's already having a financial impact on me because I don't have the money to spend in the first place, but the pull is just so much and I'm thinking about going back on it as soon as I've finished typing this post, the only reason I probably won't is the guilt but that will fade by tomorrow I'm sure - how pathetic.
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Much love and luck to all of you, thank youÂ
Hello  nightowl11
Welcome to the Forum it is good to have you here! Problem gambling is cunning, powerful and baffling and without help it is too much.
Along with the Forum we also have Advisers available 24/7 to help you. You can contact an Adviser by calling our Helpline on 0800 8020 133 or using our LiveChat, WhatsApp or Facebook options. I encourage you to contact us so we can discuss the best way forward for you.
Please know that you are no longer alone.....
Best
Amanda
Forum Admin
Hi!
Your story will resonate with many people on the forum so you are certainly not alone. I would suggest putting some blockers in to remove the possibility of you going back in.Â
I am approaching a year free but recall my initial thoughts were exactly the same as you outline although sports and roullette were my vices.Â
Take one day at a time and try to speak to your partner about it, as embarrassing as it may feel having that weight of secrecy off your shoulders will be a big help
I wish you all the very best on your journey!
Danny
"Find some thing else to feel the time"
"The feeling is what drives us to the line"
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"Easy to have are heads in a spin"
"Looking for greed and the big win"
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"So much joy to be head outside of that racket"
"Come back to the forum give up the gambling packet"
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I know how hard it must be right now but posting here is a first step away from gambling and seeking help is ok you are not alone I assure you of thisÂ
Please post again and look into what has been said by the forum moderatorÂ
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Kind regardsÂ
Dave101
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@a68clmyxb9Â Hi.
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Like Danny says, your 1st move should be to put some blocks in place. I would strongly suggest that you self exclude from the Pokerstars website straight away. Also look into signing up to Gamstop. If you know that you can't gamble it can really remove the pull to do so.
We have all been there, chasing the big win, but even if you do hit it you will end wagering it away or withdrawing and then redepositing it. You are in a good place, you maybe skint but there are many, (Me) who are in debt massively or have lost houses, relationships etc. You are on time to avoid this.
I would also advise talking to Gamcare about some counselling sessions. Gambling can be all consuming, it is a very hard addiction to kick and you may need to dig deep, but it is worth it.
All the best and keep us posted.
Hi
Being in a healthy recovery program we get to understand how unhealthy I was before my recovery.
Each day to focus on exchanging unhealthy habits in to healthy habits.
For me the addictions and obsessions indicated how emotionally vulnerable was.
Just for today I will not gamble.
Just for today I will focus on my needs my wants and my goals.
By living in fear and doubt we cheat our self from achieveing so much more from our life.
My pride is the reward of being a much healthier person today.
The question is how much do I value my self today.
Have I moved on from procrastinating and living in the pains fo my past.
Today is about living a healthy life.
Love and peace to every one.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
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