Hello Forum,
So I'm back,again....
Oh boy do I feel like a fool. I've finally reached the end of my rag with the destruction that gambling causes. The crutch that I'd always run to when life got too hard is the same crutch that's slowly stealing my soul. So the past month has been a big whirlwind if escape & gambling every last penny to my name! I have Bipolar effective disorder & I've been very up & down. The slots are the killer for me..the quick fix that'll take me into a world of make believe for a few hours or however long the money lasts...
I'm actually so angry with myself for starters & also the bookmakers in my area! I've been part of the MOSES exclusion scheme for just over two years now but in the last month I've been able to waltz into any book makers & not be challenged AT ALL! I'm sick to the stomach of how these firms say they are backing the Problem Gamblers etc but in reality the just want the customers to line their pockets! There really needs to be more awareness made to.the shop staff etc or another course added for them to learn from!
The one that stuck with me the most had only happened last week, the MANAGER of a bookmaker which I won't disclose the name of ( it grows on the ocean seabed ) because I don't want to get sued ontop of losing too much money...after loosing a fortune in under 2 hrs I asked for the head office number. She replied with " take a leaflet to exclude!!" Really?! If you done your job properly as soon as I walked in the door you'd see that I was already EXCLUDED!!
I have since vowed never to step foot in a bookmakers again after all of this. The road to recovery will be a long journey & sightseeing into my addiction along the way but..I'm ready to face my demons. It's now or never & I choose now!
I wish you all the best on your own journeys & I hope you will join me on mine.
Gina x
Good luck on your journey x
Hello Mum of Three
Welcome back! It is good to have you back on the Forum. It is not about 'how many times you fall, it is about how many times you get back up'. it takes courage to admit to a Relapse, however, you can move forward and have made that start.
Along with the Forum we have Advisers available 24/7 to help you through this. Please feel free to call an Adviser on 0800 8020 133 or using our LiveChat Option. I encourage you to make contact so that we can discuss the best way forward for you.
In the meantime, please keep posting and connecting with others in Recovery from problem gambling - you are not alone.
Best
Amanda
Forum Admin
Good morning Amanda,
Thankyou for your positive words & encouragement. I will post everyday ( my plan is to keep focused & try my hardest not to lapse again ) purely to keep track of my journey. I'm in the midst of a full blown relapse right now. Inam getting help & it was my counseller that mentioned coming back onto here. I've been advised to document my journey day by day. This is the first day of a long road ahead & I need to understand my addiction fully, this is something I haven't done before. I find that talking about gambling triggers something in my brain & the urge is there 24/7 unfortunately. I need to dissociate that trigger from real life as I'll never get better otherwise.
My brain has become wired differently now after years of gambling & I will he getting cbt to undo the damage it's caused. Money right now doesn't feel real either. I have all the correct blocks in place & that didn't even stop my downfall the past month which makes it 10 times worse knowing this shouldn't have happened. I have myself to blame aswell, I just wish that the staff in said shops actually did their homework into this addiction & actually help the players. There was one man playing a machine yesterday in the bookies who kept going up to the cashier..he was putting on £300 a time! But not once did the young manager even attempt to stop him or question his intention?! That is the most heartbreaking part of it. More needs to be done by the gambling commission in my eyes.
There should be a system set up in each bookmakers were you have to be a member & sign in to be able to access the facility. That way if you're excluded it'll show up straight away thus denying access. There are more problem gamblers than not nowadays & more needs to be done. The stigma attached to gambling doesn't help either. It's like a dirty secret that us gamblers are afraid of divulging. If it was more normalised in society & people weren't afraid of telling people they have a gambling addiction the world would be a very different place.
I will NEVER give anymore of my money to those crook bookmakers again!
Hello Gina and welcome to the forum.
You are in the right place so please stay on here and reach out for all the help
You know that the staff in gambling dens don't really care. In 40 years not one of them ever came over and said you've had enough now......not one of them ever! They are not trained for that and would probably lose their jobs for reducing profits so they are not interested......not bothered as I'm sure you really know
Self exclusion works on the basis that you wouldn't be tempted to sneak in. I know they change staff regularly and I don't honestly expect them to be checking the picture file. It is shame on them but what do you seriously expect from a place that will drain your wages in no time?
What you can do is make some days of pride and introduce yourself as Gina and say you don't want to gamble again so they know of you better.....that will help you think again about getting in
They took more than your last pound...they took your dignity and self respect.....they took your mind and changed it to a zombie addicted state
You can get that back when you heal. Those people are far from your friends so get miffed but you have to learn to control your anger and let it go in peace......the money has gone and you have to start a gamble free life
I have to stress again that there is no scheme to get it back. I gave them the price of a house but I kept going back thinking I could get something back......I just lost more....small gains meant nothing and I never would have got it back slow or fast.
Please tell your family...get help to protect all your future money.....you can't do this alone as its a drug addiction and craving.
Best wishes to start a gamble free life
Thankyou for you kind & positive words, I totally agree with what you have said. The humiliation i felt the past few days will haunt me for sometime. The anger is still there but I need to let go of it & turn it into something positive!
You are right, the shop staff don't actually give two hoots about who is in there & who isn't but something still needs to be done in my eyes. The bookies are a big trap & all of the gambling adverts on TV are disgraceful. Why isn't there more adverts on tv showing people losing & showing the real destructive side to it all?
It's because as a society we are programmed to follow suite, as in it must be okay to go down this path if it's shown on tv!
I suffer with mental health & it's my escape should anything too stressful come my way but now enough is ENOUGH!
I will beat this addiction..even if I have to take it second by second I will. This illness will not control me anymore.
Thankyou for being honest about your journey aswell. We can't get back what is gone but we can strive to build a better life moving forward x
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