Time to be a better person.

Hi.

The support from fellow fighters on this forum is amazing and a great help. (thank you.)

Wal1957- Chicken & Mushroom are my favourate.

ODAAT- thank you for dropping by at the beginning of my fight with this. I have read your diary with both interest and admiration at your success. I want & need to follow in your footsteps and wish you every happiness going forward with your amazing strength.

Poblwc- great to hear you are doing well, we can do this together. (I will look for your diary and be behind you all the way. ) the fact that my account wasn't closed as requested has made me see them for what they are and made me more determined not to give them another penny. Don't let them get any more of yours either... That will show them!!!

i got through day 3 as expected and now on my day 4.

Weekends are easier for me... so bring on day 5 tomorrow. Soooo determined not to cave but know that normally my hubby has hardly closed the front door when I am signing on.

Not that he dose not know I gamble or that I need to hide it but I guess deep down I know what I am doing is wrong so prefer to do it alone... how crazy is that... to know it is wrong but to keep doing it.

Well not anymore!!!

please don't give in today anyone. Keep your pennies and buy something yummy instead.

Yes yes yes !! Well done Sally x

Just flying by to remind you to be strong today...You can do this - ODAAT

Yes, be strong today Sally - Just read your diary, you are doing great!!!

Morning day 5.

Thanks for the support and advice everyone. I really need it today.

Although it's day 5 for me I feel today is my first real struggle. (Thursday & Friday I was new to the idea of stopping and Wednesdays loss was still fresh, Sat & Sun I had my family around and things to do.)

i only had the one account with the one casino which is now closed (But thanks for the advice Half Life.)

I am going to struggle today, I already am, and it's only 9.30am. Just one hour since hubby left for work.

I just keep telling myself ... "NO"

The one advice I can give which works for me that keep busy ; busy with a positive thoughts that you win the battle today. Good luck

Hi Sally and thank you for the post and time you put in on my diary. Some days are just so d**n hard. The urges just come constantly. I hope you are holding strong girl. Sometimes it helps to call someone on the phone if you have any friend or family member who will talk to you. Or get out the house even if it's just to go for a drive or a walk. For a couple of hours. Just a thought.

My point being to distract yourself while you wait out the urge

I screwed up yesterday and went crazy on the slots.

Found a new site, signed up & just deposit after deposit.

Sleepless night with panick attacks, guilt, churning stomach.

Still shaking now!

i had less control than normal and I think that was because of the 5 days no gambling, it was like I was desperate for my fix!!!

Today is day 1 again.

Right.

I have just cancelled my debit card (I only have one and no credit cards)

i can still use the account on line for paying set bills and direct debits but will have to go in to the bank weekly with ID to draw out that weeks cash for the shopping.

Also my hubby has a card that he takes to work and keeps in his van so I can always get him to buy anything I might want to online from time to time.

So no money access, triangle broken.

Still feel sick and shaky but at least this should be the last time of feeling like this.

Hi again.

Feeling a little better now and day 1 done.

I have decided to also record my new journey in a "Recovery Diary" so have started afresh there today.

Determined, Determined, Determined.... Never again will I go through what I have gone through in the last 24 hours... Total madness, sick to my stomach & money wasted away!!!

Hi Sally. I just screwed up again. It is so demoralising. I start again day 1 tomorrow. My mistake was to leave this site. Keep going.

Sorry to hear you also screwed up Down and Out.

why do we keep doing it to ourselves??

It stops now for both of us.

Look after yourself today.

Tomorrow your future starts afresh.

xxx

Hi Sally, many people will have a false start when trying to beat this horrible addiction.

You have done the right thing with your card, for me I was a man in his late 30's who gave his to his mum.

You could see if you can get a card which only allows withdrawals from cash machines, with no debt card facility. That would make it easier to get money and you still wouldn't be able to use it for gambling.

Spare time is very dangerous for a compulsive gambler, so you definitely need to look at ways to fill it. Even a walk away from the gambling environment can be enough.

Finally stick around the forums and post as many times as necessary, even if you don't always get a response, you'll know people are reading your posts and willing you on.

Hi SallyW

During the early stages of recovery money, (or access to money) is your worst enemy. Money to us CG's is like an alcoholic carrying an unopened bottle of grog in his pocket. The temptation in the early days is too much. Make it as easy as possible on yourself. don't carry money with you. If you are going out, have your friend or partner take care of the money side.

A lot of us have a 'bust' when we are trying to recover. Don't give up. Don't lose heart. If you want to stop gambling you have a great chance of doing so. Keep coming back.

Just for today I will not gamble....Just for today I will not gamble....Just for today I will not gamble....

We all do this one day at a time, don't look too far ahead, today is the only day that you should be concerned about.

Best wishes