Hi everyone. My name is Will and I would like to share my story. I am a 34 year old male who has been gambling for around 18 years. I am intelligent, funny and loving and yet as I write this I have nothing.
Gambling has taken it all away from me, I have lost several relationships: including in the last month, the girl I feel is my soul mate. She has had enough and had the courage to leave me for good. I have lost the respect of people around me, friends, family and colleagues who know about my issues. I also have nothing to show for my near 15 years of working. I have very few possessions, I am renting still, and I have no savings and a few thousand in debts.
I have been a compulsive gambler all of my adult life and it has turned me into a person I do not want to be anymore. I don’t want to lie to people, let them down and become evil in order to get my next fix. In total I have lost several hundred thousand pounds over the years and whilst I do not have severe debts this is mainly due to the constant bailouts I’ve had from my family and my lack of available credit due to an abysmal credit rating.
Last night I had a lightbulb moment, the penny dropped and I finally said no more. This weekend here in the UK is long and lonely for me now, and after begging my mum for money to “go out with friends” I sat in gambling on my phone and drinking. I won a few bets, but that wasn’t enough, it never is. After winning money on a sport I follow (Tennis) the sporting day was over in terms of readily accessible top tier stuff. So of course I found some South American basketball to bet on, my bet on Total Points - Overs was in a great position towards the end of the match and I already began looking for my next bet. Rather typically though, there was a 3 minute spell with no points scored and lo and behold my bet went on to lose by 1 point. I thought to myself “what do I do now?” “Do I throw my phone at the wall for the nth time this year?” “Do I cry and ring family begging for more money?” “Do I desperately text my ex for some form of comfort”?
Instead I was happy, I realised that if I had won there, I would have just continued until I had lost, it could have been the next bet it could have been 5, but the result would have been the same, it always is.
I went onto live chat on all remaining betting accounts I have and self excluded from them. I downloaded an app to start tracking my progress (it’s called Days Since) and I will view this every time I get an urge to gamble. This week I will attend my local GA meetings (which I have done before).
In 1 week I start a new job paying me 6 figures, this is a great chance to cut into my debts and rebuild my life. I will not let gambling ruin this for me and I will not let it control my life anymore. For anyone else reading this, I understand you. I have been a relentless gambler for most my life, I have won many times but it always goes back. There is a better life outside of gambling. We can do this.
Will
Hi Will. What a lovely “from the heart” post. I wish you strength and commitment on your new journey. 🙏.
Pink Lady. 🩷🍎.
Download Gamban and stop anymore online betting.
dave101
just for today I will not gamble and enjoy my holiday and playing canasta. (Canasta in not a form of pasta)
Hi Will, your story is identical to mine, down to the tee - Im a tennis sports better, age 42, gambled half my life, 100's of thousands. Broken down and pleaded (and bailed out) by family over 2 decades...
nothing to show, despite being kind, funny, and in an extremely well respected yet demanding job. highly successful in my career.
I'm also on the same journey as you, trying to rebuild my life first, and finances second.
I'm excited by your new job, I hope it goes well and do let us know. There will be temptations, you know that, and I know that. Keep writing on here, I think it will help you.
Hi I am Matthew I have been gambling for must be 20 years, lying to people and borrowing money never gets paid back, trying different things but gambling always seems to creep back into my life absolutely fed up with it no money debts around me nothing to show for it, I have depression which makes it more if a challenge but definitely not impossible to give up and would not give up if I knew what to do tried different things but never enough
Well done I had the same light bulb moment two weeks ago every time I would say I’m going to stop and I’d have a win and thought I’ll stop tomorrow while it’s was good I’ll keep going then woke up one morning and thought no more I had anxiety from it I’d push everyone away and then lose and feel like utter rubbish and I just had to stop I think everyone has it in them to do it but when’s it their time as with any addict you have to want it or it will not happen because people around you say you need to stop it’s down to the person when they are ready I seem to have these light bulb moments at milestone birthdays I left an abusive marriage after 20 years just before I turned 40 and this year for new year I gave up smoking which I have tried before and failed but really wanted to and I haven’t smoked for 4 months and feeling great then u thought the gambling has to go too and I’m two weeks in but can’t keep using it as an excuse to not deal with past trauma I need to look forward not back I have a support and I will do this and I’m now looking forward to the future good luck with your journey
Hi all
Thanks for the kind replies! It is really comforting to know there are so many people out there willing to help each other against this evil illness.
Today I am 17 days gamble free! I must say, having gambled for the past 18 years I never thought it would be this easy to stop. I have tried numerous times over the years and always failed within days. Now I know I am only 17 days in and there will inevitably be moments where I feel the urges.
But these 17 days have been great, I have been sleeping better, I have been waking up with energy not needing to check the overnight sports results/ login to my accounts to check on bets, I am not betting as soon as I wake up and then progressing on whatever is on in that days sporting calendar and it feels great.
Life is so much more stress free and it's great knowing that what (little) bit of money I have in my bank account will remain there until I choose to spend it.
I will continue to keep posting updates in here as I hope it will help myself and others. PS I have downloaded an app called Days Since and just looking at the visual confirmation gives me a small amount of joy.
Good luck guys and I look forward to hearing from you.
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