I write this message as I lay in bed sick to my stomach knowing I’m about to have another sleepless night due to a big loss at the casino.Â
I’ve always come to the forums in my 10+ years as a gambling addict to seek help or find some comfort in knowing I’m not the only one who looses all there money to this horrible addiction. But for the first time I wanted to actually write something in the hope tonight was the last time I gambled.Â
like most I have attempted to quit more times than I can count on one hand but always find myself forgetting the losses and remembering the (small and rare wins) to persuade myself to go back out and try and win some money.Â
But things are really bad now, and I can sense it could spiral out of control. My GF of 5 years has always stood by me through these tough times but more recently I can see how much it’s affecting her and she is on the brink of leaving me if I do not stop. And yet I still sit here trying to find ways to put things right by winning back my losses. Speaking just of the recent loss, I lost £1500 4 days ago and since that night all I’ve had on my mind is to find a way to win it back. I can’t focus on anything else and have no motivation because I just can’t let go of a loss. Tonight I begged my gf to let me try one more time even though I could see she was getting upset about the whole thing. No surprises there but I went out and lost another £800.Â
I’m in no debt and can afford the billls until pay day. To some this may sound like a good place to be but it still hurts just as much knowing I’ve lost thousands over the last 10 years. I have a real problem with letting it go and putting the losses behind me, always thinking I will get one big hit and put it all right. But it never happens. I understand how it all works and I know deep down I will never win but I still cannot stop the urge to go and the constant what if bets going through my head every day after a loss.Â
When it was just me in my life an none else knew it didn’t seem as bad. I just had to deal with it myself and I knew it was only myself it was hurting. But since meeting my gf it just never felt right, she was so against it all the time and it turned me into a horrible person trying to persuade her to let me go (always with my own money just to clarify). So I genuinely want to stop this now. If I can look back on this message in 5 years time without placing a bet, well I would do anything for that rn. Part of me has doubts as it’s still so fresh and I have tried this so many times before. I just hope writing this message is a way of keeping my hopes alive one more time.Â
13/04/2025 - Day 1
Trust me your not alone I'm in a right mess Financially lost £1000s over 16 years but I'm looking to the future now! Gambling has ruined me.Iv lost the person I once was and I want him back.It's very hard.I know that i'm going to do it , and i'm sure you can! Try find new hobbies , keep busy to keep your mind off of it! Like today, Iv have taken my son out to play football, something.I've never done.We bought a bag of chips and went for a walk.He absolutely loved it the joy we both got by somthing so simple is Touching! I'm hoping to never go back to them evil machines in the bookies! I'm only looking forward now not back! I have Massive debts to pay but I'm determined to do this! I just want my life back! And enjoy my family without gambling in it! I'm 2 days clean now and excited for a future without gambling! I know it's gonna be a hard and rocky path ahead of me , but I know I have to do this for me and my family else , I risk losing everything , and i'm not going to let that happen! Good luck on your journeyÂ
I know the feeling very well. Its mental torture when we lose money and the constant thoughts that flood our minds, I need to get it back, what if i done this bet instead, what if i start slow and build it up!!! Â
The truth is that we are sick and there is an overwhelming force of destruction that ruins every single one of us. All iv ever wanted was financial stability and the sad thing is I would be financially stable now if i never gambled.Â
The fact your in no debt is a huge positive, most of us have serious debt that we will be paying off for years to come. I know it still hurts right now (as it does for me too, im on day 1 recovery) but take each day at a time, hopefully it will get easier for us all. Gambling is evil and soul destroying, lets not let it win.
No sadly I have massive debts about £120,000 due to 16 years of gambling goes to show you never win! And your also right it's a illness but I'm going to give it my all to over come it! As if I carry on I will lose my house where at the moment I can just about turn it around! I can't do this to myself any longer and for my family this is a screat they must never find out about! Iv let them down for to long now! I'm happy to help you as I have no one to talk to! I have so much good in my life but gambling ruins everthing but no more! Day 3 for me tomorrow! I'm going to beat thisÂ
No sadly I have massive debts about £120,000 due to 16 years of gambling goes to show you never win! And your also right it's a illness but I'm going to give it my all to over come it! As if I carry on I will lose my house where at the moment I can just about turn it around! I can't do this to myself any longer and for my family this is a screat they must never find out about! Iv let them down for to long now! I'm happy to help you as I have no one to talk to! I have so much good in my life but gambling ruins everthing but no more! Day 3 for me tomorrow! I'm going to beat thisÂ
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
