Hi everyone,
I just thought I'd introduce myself. I have a huge problem with gambling, in particular the FOBT In the bookies. Unfortunately roulette is my poison of choice. I've been addicted to gambling for 12 years now and the impact on my life it's very difficult to put into words. Gambling such a head f**k, I've had a completely crazy week with it, my nerves are completely fried, my brain is scrambled, up-and-down like a yo-yo, losing, winning, losing, winning, losing, losing,chasing, losing, chasing, complete and utter madness. The sick feeling is like no other, numb,exhausted,depressed and empty but with a craving to go back. The worst thing is sometimes I can make my money back, but that is completely meaningless because that money always wants to go home, the hungry machine. It doesn't matter how much money I win, it will go back, these days mostly within hours. I really need to stop this, I really do but I know it means sorting myself out and dealing with the underline problems of anxiety, depression and low self esteem. It means growing the f**k up and taking responsibility, it also means giving up that secret place within I go to during gambling. But I do have to stop as if I continue the road is bleak, I turned 40 this year and have missed out on too many things, don't have my own home, no wife, no kids, no money, debt, no friends. I know it's not too late but I need to get a move on, I am self employed with no pension, when you look to the future and think of suicide as a possible retirement plan you know you have serious issues. I am not suicidal, but I do sometimes see it as a way out in the future if I can't afford to live. Anyway I plan on going to a meeting on Tuesday and will stay away until then. I know I can stop.
Thanks for reading.
Hi nightwolf very sorry to hear what your going through too you've voiced everything I feel too and I too have depression anxiety though I'm lucky in I have a marriage but maybe this last splurge on the slots which left me with no money meaning I've had to ask my husband will finish my marriage. Through my lies etc because of gambling and asking for money I could have destroyed my marriage and I'll be absolutely devastated if that happens I just couldn't stop I'm so addicted it's unreal but now I've stopped I only hope it's not too late, so sorry what your going through maybe we can give mutual support, take care
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