totally ruined everything.

the dreaded pay day today(more gulps)..extended my shift at work so going to keep busy .hopefully meal out tonight too.

Well done for keeping gamble free, even a few days for someone who gambles daily is an achievement.

well blew it again straight from work to arcade loss n more loss..350 quid infact ..not a happy house hold right now .just doesnt seem like il ever get better .

Never give up giving up!

What's happened had happened, you need to put it behind you & move on! The only reason you should be walking into an Arcade as a compulsive gambler is to quit! You can do this - ODAAT

Dr Phil says you never, ever give in to the addiction. Keep fighting, Michelle!

my wages went on gambling in a way too - i didn't gamble ..........just the interest charges on my cards/overdraft/loans from when i did gamble has eaten up most my wages......................its a slow old battle........but pick yourself up and start again........only this time put in place some prevention measures as they are what is needed...........if no access to money you cannot gamble it.........remove a piece of the so called triangle (time-money-location) any one gone will stop you gambling.....

best of luck

Wayne

There are enough people on here to commiserate with you & say there there its ok so i wont add to it.
Its not ok, its not acceptable behaviour. You say you want to change you say you want to quit you say you want to beat your addiction. So where was the commitment. You cant change without making changes. When you didnt hand over control of your finances or self exclude that was when you made the decision you were going to gamble again. Its all very well posting on here about the terrible trouble we have got into, how we are out of control, how our lives are totally unmanageable but beating addiction takes a complete desire to quit gambling, its not a game to be played at to dabble on the corners off. This addiction will take your husband it will take your children it will take your sanity it will take your life, so why continue to not give yourself the best possible chance of quitting.
There are so many options out there to help you. GA, Smart Recovery, Counselling (independent not one who is paid by the gambling commission), RBT , CBT . The options are endless you just need the willingness & desire to keep trying to find the solution that works for you.
Magical thinking is one thing that wont work tho. Just wanting something to happen doesnt make it work. You have to work these changes you want yourself.
You can do this just give yourself the chance to.

sounds some what harsh day@time,but ur right i didnt make any changes.im well aware of where i went wrong ,having my own money not excluding myself .i did make 5 days this is a big step for me .despite yesterday.i will keep trying and put some things in place.u say its not acceptable behaviour ,behaviours arte unpredicatable with this illness.im not expected to be cured over night.

thanks odat and wayne for ur support to .positivitey is good for me right now .

Agree, that a desire to stop gambling, isn't enough alone to stop. Everyone has willpower, but even the strongest willpowers will be tested.

When I started, I was an arcade visitor, but I delibrately left my cards at home, so I didn't have the money to gamble. before or after work. It's such a simple block to put into place. Ok, you could go home and get the card, go back out again, but it gives us another chance to think it through.

It is definitely worth, self excluding, go in and just say, you are starting to gamble too much and therefore would like to be told to leave if you enter the arcade. You won't be the only person to have done it, so it's won't be as unusual as you think.

When it comes to debts, 99.9% will allow overpaying, make sure as soon as you get paid, you put as much as possible onto the debt.

For most of us, the troubles, come from having money available to us, whether it is ours or the banks, card companies etc...

Now if you are on a debt management plan, that should be enough, to prevent you from getting money from loans/cards, because your credit rating should be shot to bits. Some people sadly though, leave 1 or 2 cards out of the plan and that means one thing, another source to spend/gamble with. If you haven't been 100% truthful with the debt management company, now is the time to be. To start with, if you are spending £350 on slots, you can easily afford to pay more towards the debt and get rid of it quicker than 2 years.

I started with around £18k of debt. As soon as I was paid, I would immediately pay off more than the minimum to cards/loans etc, before I even had a chance to do anything else with my money. I made sure I left enough for essentials and a bit of fun/emergency money, but when it was gone it was gone.

Once the debt was clearing and I had extra money, I opened a saving account, with no card, online access, but you had to give a months notice for withdrawals, so again couldn't touch it on the fly. The money I was no longer having to pay towards some debts, immediately went into this savings account on payday.

The debts come down, the savings go up, until they cross, but it's not possible, if money is still available to gamble with.

There will come a time, when eventually money isn't available to gamble with or even pay the bills/rent, but then the options to get more money are from crime and the possibilty of homelessness and/or prision.

Finally everyone here is on your side, whether their comments seem harsh or not, some have been there got the t-shirt and got through the other side, most are still going through the process of trying to become gamble free, but everyone will know where you are coming from.

michelle1968 wrote:

sounds some what harsh day@time,but ur right i didnt make any changes.im well aware of where i went wrong ,having my own money not excluding myself .i did make 5 days this is a big step for me .despite yesterday.i will keep trying and put some things in place.u say its not acceptable behaviour ,behaviours arte unpredicatable with this illness.im not expected to be cured over night.

thanks odat and wayne for ur support to .positivitey is good for me right now .

People do behave unpredictably but I think what happened with your money after pay day was totally predictable, carrying on years of similar behaviour. You need to think about what you will do next time to prevent it from happening again. Good intentions aren't enough, it takes practical changes in your life too.

I'm not preaching as I have done exactly the same over the years myself but stopping means doing things we don't like and its tough. There is no "cure", it takes hard graft.

Im not trying to be harsh Michelle im trying to get you to face the truth of your reality. It comes from my experience of living the way you do for 25 years, always wanting my life to change without making changes. Expecting some magical event or somebody else to solve my issues.
It was only when i realised that gambling wasnt my real problem & that life & the way i felt about me was that i could tackle what had been my solution for as long as i could remember. Addiction was merely a symptom of who i was. Therefore if i wanted to stop using i needed other solutions to what made me feel pain. This is a long & difficult journey one that can only be done with barriers to support you when you have those moments when life becomes too much & you want to hide in the safety blanket of your addiction.

Wish you every success

Day

well done emily on ur 40 days huni xx

thanks steve for ur response too,,i may seem a little ignorant but trust me im taking in every word ppl are saying im very grateful for all the responses,its been amazing so thank you all.steve i do pay a lot off debt 750 a month infact which will enable me to be debt free in under 2 yrs or so ,,i only had that amount left over cuz i worked my b**t off ,seems such a waste now its gone,i agree cudve gone off debt but i do feel im paying almost every penny to debt usually .

[email protected] again thanks once again for ur support..i apologise i may have been a bit picky with last comments.i do see what ur saying..truth hurts eh ..even more so when uve had a loss kinda makes me a bit peed off.think thats y i quit GA felt like ppl were cured and i was the only weak one.i know ppl talk from experience and i appreciate that like most things in life i hate been told but thats just me ....and my own little bubble.anyway time for sleep take care n chat soon .hope uve had a good day.

Hi All and particularly Michelle,

I too feel like you - paying every penny to debt that gambling has mainly caused.......it can sometimes make you feel anti against paying so much off and tip you to want to gamble for a faster result......

My tip is too do everything you can to prevent that gamble occuring.... and also to make sure you reward your progress and maybe don't pay off every penny to debt...treat yourself or family to a few little things extra paid for from non-gambling..

It doesn't have to be a cruise or expensive holiday........even a day trip or a ticket to a show or a new item of clothing or a night out to see a band... reap the rewards of a no gambling life.......make it count....have a physical reason to see its benefits.

I personally will save a pound a day in a box and once a month use that money to go to the theatre and by the end of the year i will have seen about 12 shows that i normally wouldn't have bothered seeing due to the cost..........

I used to find excuses for always keeping my cards on me - like " what if i lose them at home or the house gets robbed" then i remember how much i waste each time they are on me, when i used to gamble and think not even a criminal mastermind would get so much out of my finances that i have managed to squeeze out by extending this or increasing that or waiting till after midnight to get the next daily withdrawal limits out of the next 3 current accounts......sometimes i would run out of cash at 8pm and drive 3-4 hours to blackpool to kill time just so after 12 midnight i could carry on gambling in the same session without going home....

it is very powerful and needs protective measures at all times if possible....

Regards

Wayne (LEST-WE-FORGET) 20 Days gamble free

P.s have a good weekend.........don't feel too down........but do a few changes to help your situation......best of luck.