totally ruined everything.

well done chris keep it up.im lucky if i make one day

u can do it if u stop doubting urself michelle

ur right chris,tommorow a new day heres hoping

michelle1968 wrote:

hi cloud,and thank u ,,yes defo payday is tough.im excluded from online anyway .just need to stay away from the bingo halls .how have u been doing ?

Been doing surprisingly well! I've had the thoughts & temptation but I have been very strong by brushing those thoughts aside. I am hoping it continues.

well done cloud,hope it continues..what have u done instead ?

michelle1968 wrote:

hi matty .chris...well done matty keep it up..as for me well not so good obviously willpower isnt enough but feel to anxious about going back to meets .

Don't feel anxious about going back to the meetings best thing for you and don't forget we are all in the same boat.get through it together.x

michelle1968 wrote:

Hi,im new to this joined today,spent hours reading all your forum posts,i know im not alone with this horrible addiction ,so id like to share my story.(and hope i dont ramble on too much ).

im 46 and and i say ive been gambling for around 12 yrs but infact it started even when i was young ,my parents divorced dads idea of family day out was the pub.where hed often sit by the bar left me playing atari space invader machines,and also sitting watching people play slot machines encouraging me "go on you have a press".

Years later dad ran his own pub,again rather than give me his attnetion it was a few quid here n there play fruit machines (even though u had to be over 18 ).

At the age of 22 me and my dad fell out ,i moved on with my life met my partner had 2 lovely children.never once gambled.(dad remained absent from my life).we never had any spare money even if i wanted to gamble.

10 yrs later we split i met someone else everything was perfect,never had so much fun in all my life holidays nice cars etc etc.

we both had great jobs earning amazing amounts of money.

Just this one day i said lets go blackpool ,,off we went wondered through the arcades seeing people play machines i thought why not just a few quid.It was literally a few quid i lost 7 quid infact,but now i had the bug ,,i want that excitement again,so week later back to blackpool only to lose 500 quid more.

Thats whe the chasing started,to cut a really long story short i ended up 92 k in debt,every penny for the last 12 yrs ive had has gone and debt has accumulated (all for a loss of 507 quid).

ive turned into a liar ,a thief,i manipulate people into lending me money ive almost lost my home,and self respect.

my marriage is now in shatters ,not sure at this point i even care,im so looking for blame,i actually called my husband a control freak and said he is abusive.not sure if thats true or the fact hes just had enough of trying to help.he tells me he resents me and i feel that too.i did try GA for several months but felt it was more men than women i felt uneasy with that,(maybe another excuse).people say you have to want to stop ? why do i want to stop something that takes me away from this nasty world.i now have severe depression now intrest in life ..payday soon im so scared im going to blow every penny and be even more down because im skint.

i have now entered into a debt plan which has helped so if i dont gamble 2 yrs i could have my life back.

Im sorry if in my post i sound selfish or shallow ,,its prb because i am .(oh i missed the self centered bit ).

Any ideas on where to start please.

many thanks for reading this post x

hi Michelle I joined today my story matches yours almost exactly, ,,, you about two years older than me.. It was Skegness for me though

michelle i know wat bpool is like i live here myself its how i started. n u will know urself how hard it is for gamblin addict in blackpool to stop. but gone 44days. n been gambling since was 15 now 31. 16 years and gone 44 days gamble free in blackpool. if i find will power to stop this time in town like blackpool, full of arcades, casino's, bookies, gonna be an inspiration to every gambling addict in this world. am dertimined.