verge of losing everything

forgot to mention 2yrs ago I got £12.500 redundancy payout from my last job n I spent it all within 7 months, and id honestly say around £11,000 went on gambling which I lost over that period, it makes me feel sick when I think about that but theres nothing I can do about that now, its mainly football I bet on everyday n I will bet till I have nothing left n as a lot of you know its a case of chasing money back losing winning losing losing more etc etc, I know its acheievable as iv read this site and seen peoples stories, but I can also imagine how hard it will be, Iv never felt so useless n low before

Hi Joe, welcome to the Forum and thank you for sharing this honest & heartfelt post,

I gambled for twenty years before stopping over five years ago.

It is achievable and the urges will lessen, but only after a sustained period of non-gambling my friend - there is no other way, there is no magic cure, but if you manage six months without gambling, then there is no doubt you will feel a different person to the one you do now.

It is hard, but it gets easier with each passing day. Urges are only temporary, they soon pass - each one that you get through is another step up the ladder towards a better life my friend - tackle them head-on.

Draw a line under what has happened my friend; there is nothing you can do to change your past or retrieve that money back - it haunts you, but it is your future that counts now - tomorrow is important, not what has gone before. Plan how you are going to work your way through your urges and try to find out what drives you to it in the first place - you have an element of control before you start, but once you do, you are lost.

The bottom line is that nothing is worth feeling the way you do right now - gambling, winning, winning more than you thought possible; none of that would make you stop, and none of it is worth feeling useless and low as you say.

You are worth more than this Joe, you deserve to have a good life, but you must push yourself to work through your urges. You have everything to gain - what's done is done, it's up to you now.

JamesP

Hi joe. i dont normally reply but read the forum. Please try to be strong and resist the urge. you are young enough to turn this around. i have told my husband this week that i had issues with gambling. this was mainly due to me feeling down and after having a few drinks and not taking the consequences into account. he has been very patient and understanding. i am the worst gambler there is by chasing losses. i have spent over 1000 this month on my credit card which i cannot afford and this is probably the case with many people. i told my husband because i dont want secrets and the guilt is unbearable at times. i hope that you have got someone to confide in and hope that using this forum will be of help to you. i have put the k9 block on my computer and need to stay strong to beat the awful addiction of being sucked in. i hope you can be strong too. the people who win vast amounts of money and are few and far between. just bear in mind why theses gambling businesses are making profits from people like us. i think you should take one day at a time and give yourself small goals. if you are in debt with housing costs or any other priority bills i would suggest that you get free help from citizens advice or somewhere similar. good luck

Hi Joe - Wise words from James and Rose.

Remember, there is a way out of your current despair and this site will help to sustain you in those bad moments. Try to come on to the site every day - it really helps. Also come and join us on the 2014 Challenge run by Mr Brightside - you'll find it on the 'Overcoming problem gambling' page. The first posting there will tell you how it works - very simple really - you just have to introduce yourself and then check in once a week. It's a really great way to feel part of the 'club' in which we are all striving for the same goal, i.e. to be at peace with ourselves in a gamble-free life.

Joanna

there really is lots of help out there and in here

why not call gamcare

have a chat with one of the counselors ?

thanks jamesp, rose, baggins and triangle all ur advice is appreciated and I will take it all on board,

iv not had a gamble today which is a big step for me and I already feel like I have abit of faith that I can actually do this, something iv never had before, just reading your replys as made me feel better too thanks, and the challenge run sounds good which I will be joining in with thanks for that baggins,

rose thanks for your reply, I can compare very similar to your situation my main problem is chasing losses, I don't fink of the consequences till its all gone, and if I have had a drink at wknd and im having a bet then im ruthless and will bet bigger stakes than normal without even caring wat im doing, im currently single at moment and living on my own with no kids, iv had relationships in past but always kept the gambling to myself they knew I had a gamble on football but never knew the amounts I was putting on I would never tell them how much I really lost,

iv borrowed money off my mum and family several times and used the excuse of I need it for bills n mortgage etc when really iv used it for gambling so they don't know about my problem and this is another reason why I want to stop so they don't find out and I don't feel like an embarrassment and have the shame hanging on me from a personal point of view, if I can overcome my addiction now then this is possible but I know its going to be hard as gambling as took over my life,

I love a good night out with my mates but they are limited now as id choose to spend my Saturday nite with my laptop instead and would lose the money I could of spent on the nite out enjoyin myself in a matter of minutes,

also rose I hope you can overcome the addiction too and the best of luck to you, how long have you not had a gamble for now?

Jo welcome i just joined myself 2 days gambling free. Feel great i have spent the entire day reading peoples thoughts comments and sympathize with you. Let's do this i will check on you all the time keep posting read diaries when you feel like gambling it makes a difference. I have a very long road ahead of me too but hey we will do it mate

Cheers CasinoRoyaLoser

cheers casinoloser, I hope you can acheieve this too, wish you best of luck and yeah its true when you feel an urge to gamble it helps to control that urge when you visit this site, its only been 2 days gamble free for me but there big steps,

and as im mainly a football gambler tonight was really hard as there was a lot of football games and I did get urges but I thought of this site and thought im going to stick to my word, so I feel much better now for not giving in, and like u said theres a long way to go wiv many ups n downs, the wknd will be the hardest part for me as it is normally when I bet the most and theres a lot of football on, but we just need to think of it day by day instead of the long haul, and then the more days u do bet free the easier it will get.

cheers joe

Keep going jo - a day at a time, and before you know it you will have clocked up a week of no gambling. You can do it.

Joanna

cheers Joanna yeah your right one day at a time is what is needed and the more days that go by the easier it will hopefuuly get.

Hi jo and well done so far. i have only been gambling for a couple of years but was in a good job so could afford the losses which were relatively small. i am now in a low paid job and am looking for a better job at present. There have been a couple of deaths in my family so i went off the rails and had a blow out in the last couple of weeks. it was maily after a couple of drinks when my hubby went to bed. i discovered slot machines and yet i would never go and play on a real one. i increased the stakes as virtual money doesnt seem real. i was wagering 9.00 a spin every 5 seconds. imagine giving that money away realistically! This is what is keeping me going and i will just play lottery and odd scratchcard thank you very much lol. it has been 4 days for me and although it could have been much worse than a grand, i have realised what i could have bought with that money. could bought me and hubby a holiday. i am feeling very strong and focussing on real money in my purse and the fact that i wouldnt dream of throwing real money away. hope this helps and continual good luck.

Hi jo - keep going - another day for you hopefully free from the gambling curse.

Rose - I so understand what you are saying. Logic flew out of the window when I was playing online slots and as you say it seemed like 'virtual' money rather than real. Crazy!

Best wishes for your continued gamble-free life.

J

thanks rose, im sorry to hear about ur family, and I can understand what affects that has on somebody, at least you have noticed and acted on your gambling problem before it has escalated into a more serious level of gambling and further debt,

I wish I had acted as early with myn although saying that I used to see it has a hobby with a chance of winnig money, but my views have changed I now see it has a illness which needs help, and is only achievable if you want to stop, if you do then its possible,

rose just like yourself I used to be on a better wage than my current job it is around 30% less yet I was still gambling the same as before which I cant afford on this wage, in fact I was probably gambling more than before if anything and that's why I have fell behind on bills, but here we are another day gamble free which does feel good ha.

and thanks baggins yeah true another day gone gamble free, all the best to you

cheers joe

Hi and well done to us all. another day without gambling. feeling quite good today and treating the urge to gamble as hatred for the sites sucking u in. I am focussing on all the positives in life to counteract how guilty and stupid i am feeling right now. i hope u are feeling positive and giving yourself a pat on the back. Keep going...we can all do it x